Why Saying Nothing Hurts As Much As Yelling When You Get Mad At Your Partner: Aaron Freeman
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 29 January 2020
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode you will learn just why holding a frustration in by saying nothing, hurts just as much (or even more in the long run) as reacting and getting angry at your partner. This short episode by Aaron is specifically in those moments when men 'shut down', hold emotion in, and withdraw; without saying anything to their partner, when they get angry.
WOMEN: in moments like these you feel isolated, shut out, you don't know what is going on with your partner. Plus even when there is not an argument happening, this has you feel like you just don't know as much about what's happening internally for your spouse. You want to know more about them as you live your life and relationships together, and you feel you just can't break into truly knowing them.
MEN: This is such a pattern that we all default to, and we even think 'is for the best'. Of course when you think of it, not saying anything when you get mad, certainly is better than the alternative of yelling in anger. Sometimes you may even want them to thank you for this 'gift' you are giving your spouse.
The truth is in both cases for men and women, holding thoughts and emotions inside, even the ones that can be hurtful or cause an argument (even make it worse) is the wrong approach. This episode goes into WHY and WHAT to do instead when you find yourselves in either one of these situations.
Other resources:
1) Schedule your Relationship Breakthrough Session mentioned in this episode. Scroll ½ way down the page for the link and details to schedule.
2) Follow us on Instagram
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, empowered couples. Welcome to this episode of the Empowered couples podcast. I am Aaron Freeman. This is my |
| 0:05.9 | wife. Oh, she's not here. So let me tell you why. This episode is the fourth of the month. So we're |
| 0:13.1 | going to do a different type of episode than our interviews and our he said she said and the |
| 0:18.6 | mini chat with the Freeman's. And we're either going to have this episode be an Instagram Q&A, where we're going to answer questions that we've gotten on social media, or maybe a question that we've had come up in the workshop, or just something that one of us individually, either me or my wife, Jocelyn, just want to talk about by ourselves because it's really on our heart to share. And that's what this |
| 0:38.5 | episode is about for me as you've tuned in, you're now listening to why saying nothing can actually |
| 0:46.3 | hurt as much or honestly more than yelling at your partner when you get mad. And this episode is so |
| 0:52.7 | important, I think for any of us, |
| 0:54.7 | but it really hits home for me for two reasons. One, I really used to do this. And now notice |
| 1:00.9 | when I still hold back, when I still, you know, don't say something I feel like frustrated |
| 1:06.1 | about or just kind of go inward and I'm not out here in conversation with Jocelyn. |
| 1:12.8 | And it's also something that came up in our past couples workshop. |
| 1:16.9 | So if you find yourself in two places, one for women and one for men, I want to talk about |
| 1:22.0 | just why this is so important. |
| 1:23.8 | And this will be a shorter episode to kind of like recharge you and to have you really take |
| 1:28.5 | something away into your day that you can implement and really have it make a difference so |
| 1:33.3 | for women in this case when you feel like your spouse your partner your man is in a place |
| 1:42.1 | where he might be angry about something or frustrated or annoyed and he doesn't |
| 1:46.8 | say anything at all or in other cases you may just be going about your day and you don't feel |
| 1:52.9 | like your partner is really sharing with you this does two things right in either scenario |
| 1:57.8 | you feel like you just don't know your partner that well and when it comes to |
| 2:02.0 | having like an argument or a conflict when your partner just defaults to not saying anything |
| 2:08.4 | you probably feel really isolated and shut out and that's a part of why not saying anything at |
... |
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