Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne.

For the past three weeks, I've been talking with my personal friend, Lindsay.

She lives in the same area that I do.

We have attended the same 12-step group so we know each other personally and we

hang out and I'm so grateful that she's spent this time with me. So if you have not

heard the last three episodes with Lindsay I encourage you to go back

start from about three weeks ago and listen to them in order so that you're kind of

up to date and you have the full story. Today we're going to start talking

about benchmarks. Benchmarks aren't

boundaries. You set a boundary and then you wait for benchmarks. For example, if your

boundary is a separation and one of your benchmarks is that they do a polygraph and then you can kind of see how the polygraph went.

Or one of your benchmarks might be that they take accountability.

So a benchmark is something they do

and a boundary is something you do.

And that's the difference.

So we're just going to jump right

into this conversation about benchmarks today.

So talk about some of the benchmarks you have. this conversation about benchmarks today.

So talk about some of the benchmarks you have now for this boundary.

I smile at that because this is something that we've gone back and forth on, actually,

quite a lot.

My husband in particular, one of the areas of his recovery

...