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The Angry Therapist Podcast

Why Losing Everything Can Lead to Your Most Authentic Self

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.61.1K Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2025

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this special episode, John Kim brings together five brilliant voices - Amy Chan, Terri Cole, Dene Logan, Vanessa Bennett, and Daniel Stewart - for a raw and honest conversation about love, grief, codependency, and what it really means to grow. They unpack: Turning loss into a wake-up call 🌿 The biology of heartbreak and trauma bonds ❤️‍🔥 How to tell if growth is healthy or self-abandonment What a “midlife crisis” is really trying to teach us Redefining partnership, independence, and self-love It’s messy, heartfelt, and deeply human -  a quilt of wisdom and laughter about what it means to be alive and love in 2025. Guests: Amy Chan – Author of “Breakup Bootcamp” @missamychan Terri Cole – Author of “The Boundary Boss” & “Too Much” @terricole Dene Logan – Author of “Sovereign Love” @dene.logan Vanessa Bennett – Author of “The Motherhood Myth” @vanessabennetttherapy Daniel Stewart – Psychotherapist, teacher & musician @minstrelion Join John in Costa Rica, Dec 1–5. A retreat for connection, creativity, and fresh starts with an optional two-day medicine journey. Sign up HERE Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

After Vanessa and I lost our friend, my marriage ended like three months later. And there was a way that that loss sort of prepared me for the loss of my marriage because it was a little bit like my heart was just open in a different way. And I kind of wanted to be more intentional about the way that I continued to love. And I feel like my friend sort of prepared me for like nothing is really lost.

0:22.0

You're okay.

0:23.0

And how do you want to love given that, you know, this time is so fleeting?

0:30.5

I'm John Kim, a licensed therapist who used to be a miserable fuck before going on a

0:34.8

hero's journey and turning expired relationships into revelations.

0:38.9

I use my story to help others come with you instead of at you, unrehearsed on purpose,

0:45.4

because self-help doesn't have to be polished or complicated, just honest.

0:56.8

Amy Chan is with us today. She's Chinese American.

0:58.4

No, I'm Chinese communion.

1:01.7

No, that's...

1:03.4

What?

1:04.2

Well, whoa, wait, hold on.

1:05.2

What's wrong?

1:06.2

Amy!

1:07.4

Are you not Chinese?

1:09.4

I'm Chinese Canadian.

1:12.9

Oh, you're Chinese.

1:13.4

Oh, shit, that's right.

1:14.8

Oh, I forgot your Chinese Canadian.

1:17.3

You just gave me so much.

1:19.2

Oh, my God.

1:20.0

That's so important these days, American version.

...

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