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TED Talks Daily

Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail | Özlem Cekic

TED Talks Daily

TED

Creativity, Ted Podcast, Ted Talks Daily, Business, Design, Inspiration, Society & Culture, Science, Technology, Education, Tech Demo, Ted Talks, Ted, Entertainment, Tedtalks

4.111.9K Ratings

🗓️ 6 November 2018

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Özlem Cekic's email inbox has been full of hate mail since 2007, when she won a seat in the Danish Parliament -- becoming the first female Muslim to do so. At first she just deleted the emails, dismissing them as the work of fanatics, until one day a friend made an unexpected suggestion: to reach out to the hate mail writers and invite them to meet for coffee. Hundreds of "dialogue coffee" meetings later, Cekic shares how face-to-face conversation can be one of the most powerful forces to disarm hate -- and challenges us all to engage with people we disagree with.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This TED Talk features bridge builder, Oslam Seekich, recorded live at We the Future, presented by TED, the Skoll Foundation and the United Nations Foundation.

0:13.0

My inbox is full of hate maids and personal abuse and has been for years.

0:24.7

In 2010, I started answering those maids and suggesting to the writer that we might meet for coffee and a chat.

0:30.5

I have had hundreds of encounters.

0:34.3

They have taught me something important that I want to share with you.

0:38.3

I was born in Turkey from Kurdish parents,

0:43.3

and we moved to Denmark when I was a young child.

0:46.3

In 2007, I ran for a seat in the Danish parliament

0:50.3

as one of the first women with a minority background.

1:00.0

I was elected, but I soon found out that not everyone was happy about it, as I had to quickly get using to finding hate messages in my inbox.

1:07.0

These emails will begin with something like this.

1:11.6

What's the rackhead like you doing in our parliament?

1:15.3

I never answered.

1:17.3

I just delete the emails.

1:19.4

I just thought that the senders and I had nothing in common.

1:24.6

They didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them.

1:28.3

Then one day, one of my colleagues in the parliament said that I should save the hate

1:35.3

maids.

1:36.3

When something happens to you, it'll give the police a lead.

1:42.3

I noticed that she said, when something happens and not if.

1:47.0

Sometimes, hateful letters were also sent to my home address.

1:53.0

The more I became involved in public debate,

...

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