You have to see that for what it is. This is not a sign of true investment. This is just a sign that someone is thinking of me right now in the moment.

There is a difference between attention and intention. And there's a difference between intention and true investment.

Why is it that dating seems to have become so complicated? I was recently on a show where I was asked about ghosting, haunting, zumbying.

And as much as I had a wonderful time, I couldn't help but think to myself, my God, why do we keep coming up with new names for things?

I'm going to talk to you about those three words right now, but I'm going to simplify this once and for all.

Let's take ghosting to begin with. Ghosting is when someone just, you know, maybe we went on a couple of dates and they disappeared.

They just never texted us again. Maybe we were seeing someone for a long time and then they disappeared.

Much worse, we are left in this abyss of unknowing. What the hell happened? Are they okay? Is there something so wrong with me that not only are they not interested, but they didn't even bother to tell me that they're not interested?

I think that a big problem with ghosting is that we look for closure. We shouldn't look for closure. We should give ourselves closure.

Closure can be the gift that you give to yourself and the closure is this. They either don't care about me at all or they do care about me, but are willing to do this to someone they care about.

Either way, this is enough information to move on with your life. Remember this when you're looking for more information.

Someone not contacting you is information. Disinterest is closure. Number two, haunting. This was a word that got brought up to me and I'll be honest with you, I had to look it up because I didn't know what haunting men in the dating context.

When I did look it up, I realized, oh, we've dealt with this before.

In any case, I happen to know he likes me because he treats you right.

Because even if he doesn't text back, he still likes my Instagram pictures.

Right then.

When we talked about haunting, we called it a platform downgrade. Someone going from a more intimate form of communication with you, either seeing you in person, having phone calls, texting,

to a much lesser form of communication that perhaps doesn't even qualify as communication. It's just someone being an abstract presence in your life through the form of viewing your stories, liking your posts, but never having a direct interaction with you.

Now look, a simple response to this is just to block the person. If you really don't want to hear from them, just block them.

If you don't want to see their name coming up on everything you do, block them.

But if you like the person and you don't want to block them, the least I ask of you is that you not see them viewing your stories as a sign that something is going to happen.

See it for what it is. Nothing. Number three, zombieying.

...