WHY BEING “NICE” IS MAKING YOU MISERABLE: How to stop people pleasing and finally put yourself first

LATE BLOOMERS

Rich & Rox Pink

Self-improvement, Education

5.0 • 599 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Are you constantly saying yes when you mean no? Feeling anxious about being liked? Putting everyone else’s needs before your own... then burning out in silence? You might be stuck in a people pleasing loop... and it’s time to break free.

In this episode of LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox dive deep into the roots of people pleasing, from childhood conditioning to ADHD-related rejection sensitivity. They share personal stories, relationship reflections, and how unlearning the “good girl/good boy” mindset changed everything.

Expect raw honesty, a few uncomfortable truths, and practical advice on how to:

– Stop caring what everyone thinks
– Set boundaries without guilt
– Start living for you

It’s not about being selfish, it's about being yourself!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Today we're talking about the power of I don't care and unlearning people pleasing.
0:05.0	We are going to look at why we seek external validation, why it is absolutely exhausting,
0:12.3	and what we can do to stop it.
0:14.6	This is late blooms where we are getting our lives together.
0:17.6	I don't care.
0:19.0	Starting straight away.
0:20.2	I do care.
0:20.7	Obviously do care. You care about everything. Yeah.'t care. Starting straight away. I do care. Obviously do care.
0:21.3	You care about everything.
0:22.4	Yeah. Too much.
0:23.9	So I naturally don't care, actually. But this is quite an interesting one for me.
0:30.0	We're coming at this from two totally opposite perspectives. Me, someone that has historically
0:36.3	cared more about every single other person than myself.
0:40.2	And you, who's just like, Mr. I don't care.
0:43.7	I don't care.
0:44.6	Maybe I should care more.
0:47.3	Do you think so?
0:48.7	Let's talk about it.
0:50.5	Let's talk about it.
0:52.9	So is it me first? Yeah. So I think I'm way better than I used to
0:57.7	be, but I have to work really hard. It comes up pretty much every week in therapy, why I self-censor,
1:05.4	why I say yes instead of no, why I feel extreme anxiety for like having needs or criticising people.
	...

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