When Your Partner Gets Triggered: The Do's and Don'ts Episode 123
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 19 January 2021
⏱️ 31 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When your partner gets triggered, what do you do?...
#1: Do you react back, get defensive, and it triggers an argument?
#2: Or do you lovingly hold space and help them process what came up for them?
Don't feel guilty if you fell into the first category, as that is where most people fall into.
We weren't taught how to recognize and SUPPORT someone while they're triggered, especially in a romantic relationship. And instead of it bringing healing, they often create arguments and emotional distance.
In this episode, we cover:
- How triggers can be a "good" thing for the relationship
- The things you DON'T want to say or do when they are triggered
- The things that you DO want to say or do so that it is more constructive for your relationship
Resources For Your Relationship:
Pre-order our newest book, The Argument Hangover, that hits shelves Feb 23rd, and get over $200 of free bonus gifts (like the mini course and a 90 minute training)
About Us:
We're The Freemans, your go-to couple for authentic and actionable relationship advice. Send us your relationship questions for the show with a DM on Instagram. As you listen to the episode, tag us on an IG story and let us know what you loved
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast where here you get modern, non-boring relationship |
| 0:05.5 | advice for you to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team no matter the |
| 0:10.9 | challenge that you face. I am one of your hosts, Erin Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, but you all |
| 0:15.0 | just know us as the Freeman's. And on today's episode, when your partner gets triggered, |
| 0:20.6 | the do's and don'ts. |
| 0:22.0 | Yes. |
| 0:22.5 | Okay. |
| 0:22.9 | This topic is key. |
| 0:24.9 | And interestingly, it is something that we could do a lot of different episodes because |
| 0:29.5 | we get a lot of questions about this. |
| 0:31.1 | So there's a lot of different nuances and dynamics. |
| 0:34.0 | But I posted on Instagram today, actually, and and I said how do you typically respond |
| 0:41.5 | react handle when your partner gets triggered and I got a bunch of responses but I |
| 0:46.7 | noted a few to share here one said I get super annoyed and tell them to just calm down. |
| 0:55.8 | Another said, I can see that. |
| 0:57.7 | I avoid my partner. |
| 1:00.1 | Another said, I get triggered back and we get into a fight. |
| 1:03.6 | And then there were a few that said, I've really worked on being able to just listen and |
| 1:08.4 | understand. |
| 1:09.0 | And that's great. |
| 1:09.6 | So I do want to shout out the people who have said, you know, we are now able to really listen and understand. And that's great. So I do want to shout out the people who |
| 1:11.4 | have said, you know, we are now able to really listen to each other when triggered. Because that's |
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