When Therapy/Coaching Does More Harm Than Good - The Destructive Nature of Shame and Blame

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hildebrandt-says-his-family-and-life-were-destroyed-after-she-spilled-details-of-his-sessions-to-the-mormon-church/ar-AA1hirzA) Tony dives into the destructive nature of shame-based therapy, refuting its effectiveness and ethical standing. You'll hear firsthand accounts of the damage shame-based approaches can cause, all the while raising the question: How should therapists truly be helping their clients?In the second half, the episode shifts towards de-stigmatizing 'porn addiction,' urging listeners to understand it as more of an unhealthy coping mechanism and why strength-based approaches to improving one's life with the acceptance that it is THEIR life work and a therapist, life coach, or religious leader making it about THEMSELVES will only further exacerbate the problem. Tony talks about evidence-based therapeutic strategies like acceptance and commitment therapy that operate from a place of compassion, not shame. By doing so, individuals are empowered with the tools and emotional freedom to reshape their coping mechanisms, ultimately leading to more fulfilling lives. Please subscribe to Tony's YouTube Channel here https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast (https://www.youtube.com/@TheVirtualCouchPodcast)and you can find this video with Descript’s “eye contact” feature enabled here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk2qwiMyn84&t=5s) Tony and Sydney’s episode of Murder on the Couch can be located here https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik (https://youtu.be/U3NO4ftF9Ik)Please follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ (https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/) as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ (https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/%C2%A0)To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchSubscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, oh, oh, come on and take a seat on the virtual cast.
0:21.9	Hey, everybody.
0:22.6	I'm actually coming on the podcast after it's already done and edited because in the name of pure vulnerability,
0:30.0	I just have to tell you if there was ever a time to go watch the YouTube video,
0:34.8	and this will feel like a plug, a shameless plug, because of course I would
0:38.0	love for you to go there and subscribe and like and all those kind of things. But I just have to
0:42.8	tell you the artificial intelligence, what a trip. I use a software product called Descript,
0:48.2	and it is an amazing editing tool, but there's a new feature that if you aren't looking directly at the camera,
0:56.4	then you can do this eye correction, and then all of a sudden, you're always looking at the
1:01.2	camera. So I have, I did it, and I've just been so fascinated during the editing process,
1:06.8	because it's now kind of almost creepy, like I'm just staring into the camera the entire time.
1:10.9	And I wasn't looking at the camera. I was looking at some notes most of the time or looking around.
1:15.4	And so I was going to undo it, but I just thought, this is wild. The future is here.
1:20.5	So if you get a chance, I'll have a link to the YouTube video in the show notes.
1:25.1	And as well as a link to the Descript software, because it really is
1:28.0	fascinating. You can take away all the us and the ums, but this, this eye correction thing
1:33.0	is quite a trip. I think I want to know, do you think it looks a little bit creepy, or does
1:38.0	it look normal? I think I'm so used to maybe seeing myself in the camera that it just,
1:42.4	it just seems odd. But I just want to jump on and say that.
1:45.5	So now, well, let's get to today's episode of the virtual couch.
1:50.2	Hey, everybody. Welcome to episode 400 of the virtual couch. And to be honest with you, I learned it was episode 400 just a couple of minutes before jumping on.
1:59.5	I think I assumed that I would do something really
	...

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