WHEN THE HOST WAS A NOVELIST: 1&2/10: "Hollywood Before the Mast," a story from the collection, "Gordon Liddy is My Muse," by John Calvin Batchelor. January 1, 1990. Read by the host.
The John Batchelor Show
John Batchelor
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🗓️ 31 December 2023
⏱️ 9 minutes
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Summary
https://www.amazon.com/Gordon-Liddy-Muse-Calvin-Batchelor/dp/0671690787
From Publishers Weekly
Posing as hack writer Tommy "Tip" Paine, Batchelor ( The Birth of the People's Republic of Antarctica ) offers a comic and often provocative look at contemporary America in this episodic "autobiographical" novel. In eight chapters, each self-contained, Tip roams from Moscow to Hollywood to New England to his ultimate destination, G. Gordon Liddy's Firearms Security Academy in Arizona. While in Russia, he watches a boyhood friend progress, over the years, from awed admirer of American western movies to KGB superstar to an official non-person, "disappeared" as part of that nation's changing politics. In Hollywood, despite the warnings of his decidedly offbeat agent, Tip falls into the clutches of a woman who is not what she seems. In New England, together with his "imaginary best friend, McKerr," Tip solves a multiple murder and uncovers what is possibly a relic of American history. Finally, in the Arizona desert, he posits an arguable identity for the still-elusive"Deep Throat" of the Watergate scandal. Other tales in this totally engaging work recount run-ins with famous literary personages, wealthy Texans and restless Vietnam veterans, or suggest a dark and ancient secret hidden in the heart of Germany. This may be Batchelor's breakthrough novel to the wide audience he deserves.
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
The narrator of this inventive picaresque novel is Tip Paine, formerly a spook for the National Security Agency and now a moderately successful sci-fi/spy writer. In eight exuberant episodes Tip ranges from Moscow to Hollywood. He provides mystery (a tale of murder and mayhem in a small New England town), commentary on international politics (an elegiac account of a Russian KGB agent who falls victim to glasnost), and wickedly funny satire of pomp and foolishness in Texas high society, a university writing workshop, and a desert training academy for mercenaries. By alluding frequently to the classics of American literature (e.g., Moby Dick, The Last of the Mohicans ), Batchelor creates illuminating but highly entertaining commentary on contemporary society.
- Albert E. Wilhelm, Tennessee Technological Univ., Cookeville
Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc.
1916 Hollywood High School
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Gordon Liddy is My Muse by Tommy Tipp Payne, a novel by John Calvin Bachelor, |
| 0:07.0 | read by John Bachelor. |
| 0:10.0 | Hollywood Before The Mast, I meet Ahab, I get harpooned. One. Tips on TV enough to know that |
| 0:21.0 | he's no good in the glass, which is show business talk for poor on |
| 0:25.0 | camera. There's also Tip's opinion that he's done the Letterman show enough forever and |
| 0:30.3 | that the Today Morning Gang is yawning, which leaves him cranky with a conviction never to smell their caffeine breath again. |
| 0:37.0 | Nevertheless, Johnny Carson's Tonight Show is moon walking to Sci-Fi Spy Guys, and I blinked once and said yes twice, |
| 0:46.4 | when the Booker called my Hollywood agency and they called me. |
| 0:50.4 | Tonight wanted me right away, tomorrow night, to replace a Stalinist poet who was Glassnost |
| 0:55.3 | bound in East Europe, maybe some other combination. |
| 1:00.3 | I was loafing and ice fishing at the time of at my camp at Moosehead Lake. |
| 1:05.0 | It was just after Christmas, when Maine's deep woods are white silence save for the wind and the occasional |
| 1:11.4 | Falonia snowbill Buehler. |
| 1:15.3 | My solitary holiday had run its course. |
| 1:18.6 | I'm a humbug about Christmas and happy for it. |
| 1:22.1 | I was supposed to be starting and finishing a new romance of the |
| 1:25.7 | Cold War. I write suddenly so as not to think about it. Besides, I've done all the |
| 1:31.0 | research digestible and the plots are buddies. |
| 1:35.0 | Yet I was feeling too lazy to twist, assassinate, chase, rescue, iron eyes, |
| 1:41.0 | and found myself keeping the fire too high and staring for many happy hours into another |
| 1:46.6 | superb xenophobia game and my playmate, The Mac. |
| 1:51.3 | Also, my imaginary best friend McCur, had been scheduled to show up so we could try one more time |
... |
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