What Your Attachment Style Says About You w/ Sarah Baldwin
Almost Adulting with Violet Benson
Violet Benson
4.8 • 4.1K Ratings
🗓️ 21 March 2024
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hey Besties! Today, we get to listen to the second half of Violetta’s conversation with Sarah Baldwin. Sarah is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma-informed Life Coach dedicated to supporting individuals in understanding their reactions, feelings, and patterns, emphasizing that these are not indicative of anything wrong, but rather everything being right with the person.
Violetta and Sarah will dig deep into what it means to have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, how to overcome it, and how it can potentially affect your current and future relationships. Discover how your nervous system is the puppeteer of your relationships, unravel the mysteries of anxious and avoidant attachments, and get the lowdown on why opposites attract but might not always stick. Learn the golden rules of relationship arguments, decode the dynamic dance between different attachment styles, and embrace the bravest steps towards love. Whether you're anxiously engaged or coolly detached, it's time to understand, set boundaries, and find out why, in the game of love, we're all wonderfully complex.
If you are looking to listen to today's episode without any ads or interruptions, feel free to subscribe to my subscription podcast at https://almostadulting.supercast.com/. What’s more? You'll get an extra episode every Saturday each month!
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Episode Highlights:
00:00 Intro
00:24 How does your nervous system affect your relationships?
02:04 How does Anxious Attachment style develop?
03:47 How does Avoidant Attachment style develop?
05:18 What should you do if you have avoidant attachment?
10:39 What should you do if you have anxious attachment?
12:39 Anxious and avoidant attachment attract each other
17:22 The golden rule: Two dysregulated people can’t solve an argument
20:41 Most common dynamic between anxious and avoidant people
21:37 We can be both avoidant and anxious
24:03 Why both avoidantly and anxiously attached people are often misunderstood
28:14 We need to learn to understand each other
30:04 A lot of us feel we’re so f*cked up
35:46 What is the bravest thing an avoidant person can do in a relationship?
37:26 Can an avoidant and anxiously attached person have a relationship?
40:56 Fear and excitement have the same somatic sensory response
44:32 The people we need to set boundaries will resist those boundaries the most
48:12 When to know that the other person is not yet safe for you to be in a relationship with
55:16 We all make sense and there’s nothing wrong with us
Connect with Sarah on:
https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/
https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/
https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/
Get more content on:
https://www.instagram.com/almostadulting/
https://www.instagram.com/violetbenson/
https://www.instagram.com/daddyissues_/
https://www.youtube.com/c/daddyissues
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi Bessies and welcome to a brand new almost adulting the largest self-love |
| 0:05.6 | podcast and movement, your number own destination for personal growth and |
| 0:09.6 | mental health. I'm your big sister, your best friend, and your host, violetta. |
| 0:15.0 | And today I'm welcoming you to part two with Sarah Baldwin. |
| 0:21.3 | You guys love the episode that we had two weeks ago with her, which was all about regulating your nervous system. |
| 0:28.0 | What even is a nervous system? |
| 0:30.0 | Why isn't normally dysregulated, which has to do a lot with our anxieties and all that. |
| 0:35.6 | Like I think I'm always at a nervous state of mind. |
| 0:39.0 | So it's cool to know that I also have a nervous system. My system is always nervous, am I right? Anyway, today we're going to dive more into the nervous system, but we are full on going to dive into attachment styles, which I know some of you guys love, which is all about |
| 0:57.0 | secure attachment style, avoidant attachment style, anxious attachment style, fearful, can an anxious and |
| 1:03.6 | avoidant date what does that even mean if they can date how do we make it work and |
| 1:08.7 | so on you guys are going to love today's episode so make sure to download it so you can always find it |
| 1:18.8 | and listen to it over and over and over again on how to make those type of relationships with different attachment |
| 1:23.9 | styles work. |
| 1:25.1 | Make sure to follow Sarah after you finish listening to my episode and of course, make sure |
| 1:29.8 | to write me a five-star review if you enjoy today's episode. Helps my |
| 1:34.7 | podcast I'm always really thankful because I read all of them. Okay? Love you best, |
| 1:39.1 | see's, enjoy. You cannot resolve an argument when two people are just |
| 1:42.3 | regulated. So don't try. Like if anyone listening, if you're in a |
| 1:45.6 | relationship and you're both in a fight, if you're fighting you're both |
| 1:48.5 | dysregulated, you are like have swords out at each other and there's no way to resolve it. You have to |
| 1:53.6 | pause and say okay we're both dysregulated. This is a waste of our time right now. |
... |
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