What went down in cringe history as the worst date you've ever been on.

It wasn't necessarily the date, which was bad on its own,

but the fact that she hung out in my parking lot for two hours after she dropped me off

in case I changed my mind about doing something after dinner.

Back in college, I was invited to an ice rink with a girl that I liked and some of her friends. I didn't know how to ice skate and I didn't pick it up very quickly, but I wanted to try and impress her somehow. Well, I hugged the wall the whole time and made a complete fool of myself. The highlight was when I saw a flash of light as I fell in front of a group of people.

Turns out I'd fallen right at the moment someone else took a picture, so my failure was immortalized forever. This girl took me back to my apartment and ended the relationship before it began.

On a lighter note, the woman who is now my wife was at that ice rink on that one night.

We didn't realize we were there the same time until a year

or two into our relationship. She exclaimed, you were that guy who couldn't ice skate. Yeah, she didn't

seem that into you. He was more than three hours late, and he was texting me telling me that he was

20 minutes away for two of those hours. As soon as he arrived, he tried to tell me to leave the part of the dive bar I'd already paid into so that we could go where he wanted, tried to start a fight with a friend that I'd happened to run into, and called my aunt, who had talked me into going out with him in the first place, a groin-blocking B-word. I just walked away from him after that last one, and we never spoke again. I waited that long for him at the venue because I liked the bands that were playing. I wouldn't have stayed if I was sitting around doing nothing. He got there just before the last band finished, but I'd had about enough of him by then, because he had been telling me that he was on the train in the same place for two hours. We don't live out in the middle of nowhere, and he could have

easily gotten a bus or tram the rest of the way in that time if there was a problem with the train.

He never gave me a proper excuse, but I didn't really care at that point.

The guy told me he had just recently got out of a long-term relationship, so he wasn't looking

for a commitment, but asked me if he could be my maintenance man as he

stroked himself through his jeans. Went on a blind date with a lady who wouldn't stop picking at her

scabs, just made a pile out of them on the restaurant table. I excused myself to the washroom,

and when I came back my soup was there, but the pile of scabs wasn't. No, I didn't

eat the soup. Okay, that's the first dry heave of the recording day out of the way. Interesting that you

can almost guarantee these gag moments in medical or restaurant videos, but it's a real 50-50 shot

when you get to the dating ones. Let's see if there are any more challenges to the sanctity of my stomach ahead. I went out with a guy that my roommate set me up

with a few years ago. First, he was vocally irritated that I wore heels because it made him

...