What's Going on With Your Social Anxiety?

The Art of Manliness

Society & Culture, Education, Philosophy

4.7 • 14.5K Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2024

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you have trouble feeling comfortable when socializing? Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward. Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle. Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating social anxiety can be. It cannot only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences and a failure to make desired connections, it can sometimes be hard to understand. So what's going on when you socially misfire? Here to unpack that question is Thomas Smithyman, who is a clinical psychologist and the author of Dating Without Fear: Overcome Social Anxiety and Connect. Today on the show, we get into the dynamics of social anxiety in both romantic and platonic contexts. Thomas explains what defines social anxiety, how it exists on a spectrum from mild shyness to an outright disorder, and what causes it, from genetics to faulty thinking. We talk about the protection strategies people often use to avoid the pain of social judgement, and why they actually backfire. We then get into what you can do to be more socially comfortable and confident, including a key to effective flirting, why you should try to make a "mediocre first impression," and how to find your way into what Thomas calls the "warm social world."

Transcript

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0:00.0	Brett McKay here and welcome to another edition of the Art of Manliness
0:10.4	Podcast. Do you have trouble feeling comfortable with socializing?
0:14.0	Maybe sometimes you do fine, but other times you feel nervous, shy, and awkward.
0:19.0	Or maybe socializing always feels like a struggle.
0:22.0	Either way, you know how frustrating and even debilitating
0:24.6	social anxiety can be. It can not only lead to avoiding potentially enriching experiences
0:28.8	and a failure to make desired connections, it can sometimes be hard to understand.
0:33.6	So what's going on when you socially misfire?
0:36.8	Here to unpack that question is Thomas Smithyman, who is a clinical psychologist and the author
0:41.0	of, dating without fear, overcome social anxiety and connect.
0:45.0	Today on the show we get into the dynamics of social anxiety both romantic and platonic
0:49.8	context. Thomas explains what defines social anxiety, how to exist on a spectrum from mild shyness to an outright disorder, and what causes it, from genetics to faulty thinking.
1:00.0	We talk about the protection strategies people often use to avoid the pain and social judgment and why they actually backfire.
1:05.7	We then get into what you can do to be more socially comfortable and confident
1:09.6	including a key to effective flirting, why you should try to make a mediocre first impression, and how to find
1:14.6	your way into what Thomas calls the warm social world. After the show is over, check at our
1:19.2	show notes at AIM.IS slash social anxiety. I.
1:23.0	Social Anxiety.
1:25.0	All right Thomas Smithyman welcome the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me on.
1:37.6	So you are a psychologist who specializes in helping individuals with social and dating anxiety.
1:44.0	How do you end up in this niche?
1:46.0	I mean, it's, I think like a lot of psychologists,
	...

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