What Really Matters in Your 20s (It’s Not What You Think)

The Disciples Journal

That Sounds Fun Network

Personal Journals, Education, Society & Culture, How To, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 8 December 2025

⏱️ 14 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Most people spend their entire life chasing the wrong thing and they don’t realize it until something in them breaks. I know, because that was me. For years I obsessed over the what of my life — the achievements, the next move, the next milestone and ignored the far more important question: Who am I becoming? And it cost me more than I expected. In this episode, I share the moment I realized success had taken more from me than it gave, the move to Nashville that helped rebuild me, and the conversations that reframed what truly matters in this decade of becoming. If you feel lost, pressured to “figure it out,” or like you’re running faster but feeling emptier — this one’s for you. I’m building a deeper space for weekly essays, reflection, and real community around the journey of becoming. Sign up here: https://darinstarks.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	So listen, I'm convinced that the most important question you can answer in life isn't what, but who.
0:06.8	And I say this because most of my short years of life here on this earth have been revolved around the what.
0:12.3	And this is me asking, what should I do with my life?
0:15.3	What happens next?
0:16.5	What city should I move to?
0:18.0	What career do I want?
0:19.4	And listen, all these things are important and should
0:22.5	have our attention, but I just don't believe that should take priority over who, which is answering
0:28.3	the question of who am I becoming? Because we can somehow get so caught up with what we're
0:35.0	creating with our hands that we ignore the condition of our hearts.
0:39.2	And this has been the story of my 20s so far.
0:42.3	I've been chasing this ever-moving goalpost of success.
0:46.5	And that idea of success that I've been believed in was surround around the what.
0:53.0	What's the next milestone? What can I accomplish next? What can I do to be the what? What's the next milestone?
0:54.7	What can I accomplish next?
0:56.5	What can I do to be the most productive?
0:59.5	My idea of making it up until this point, really like this past year,
1:03.4	has been sitting around having a high-rise apartment in NYC,
1:06.9	a million dollars in the bank,
1:08.1	in recognition from the world that I was the best.
1:11.7	And when I dropped out of college at 18, that's exactly what I was aiming for and actually got.
1:17.0	And well, not the million dollars in the bank or the high-wrest apartment in NYC,
	...

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