What moment made you realize, oh, that's why I'm single?

I was bored one night, so I went out and bought some industrial strength balloons,

came home and spent like four or five hours learning to make balloon animals.

In the afterglow, surrounded by my little rubber friends, I wondered what the heck are just done.

A little while back I saw a beautiful girl, just drop-dead gorgeous, and it suddenly hit me how much effort she'd put into it.

The clothes, the makeup, the hair, not to mention the probable workouts and dieting, and I realized that if I wanted a girl like that, I had to put in the same

effort. Since then, I've been intermittently single rather than completely single. Just this morning,

I realized I've been washing my clothes with cascade dish detergent for the past few months. Hanging out in

the hot springs in Banff, in the deep end, and this very attractive

woman sits near me. I strike up a conversation with her, and things are going pretty well.

Then my youngest comes over to check in with me, then my third kid, then my second kid,

then my oldest kid. I look over and pretty lady was gone. Well, try being a single mom with a special

needs kid. I might as well have flame throwers instead of chesty bits and a double-headed Jansen.

My job title on Facebook said Dragonborn for about two and a half years. That might have been it.

Finally alone with a cute girl I've been crushing on since

orientation week of university. We're in the basement of a campus building, cleaning out a storage

room for a student group. I'm desperately trying to make interesting conversation, and being the

smooth ladies man that I am, I bust out this line. So, do you think there are any security cameras down

here? Catching my reflection in the TV after I dropped the spoon on the floor and had just started

waggling my finger around in the Nutella jar to get the last bits out. Ah, don't be too hard on yourself there. I think everyone's

had that moment where they see a grotesque reflection of themselves eating food. I think for people

in relationships, the thought is just usually more along the lines of, how am I in a relationship

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