Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne.

Lindsey, my friend is back again to talk about separation.

Separation is a really important boundary that some women use to establish safety and

Lindsay has done both an in-home separation and now is separated out of her

homes and she's going to talk about her experience.

So can you tell us why you felt unsafe in your own home?

Pretty early on when I started doing my own recovery, I learned how important it was to me to have my husband both working recovery in a way that I could see so he needed to share with me what he was doing or you know going to meetings and various other things and then also that he needed to be honest with me.

And the honesty has been a real sticking point

in our relationship.

And so when he went through another repeated experience where he had gone through two months of acting out behavior without disclosing it to me.

That's when I felt unsafe.

And I needed to change something.

Did you feel unsafe before you found out

he was lying to you or was there something in your gut that you knew was wrong and you just didn't have sort of quote unquote evidence until you found out?

I definitely felt uneasy, that's for sure and I knew that

I wasn't seeing the recovery behaviors he wasn't communicating with me and so I knew that something was up but until I

really had the direct evidence I didn't want to move forward yet.

And it was only a matter of months,

and I don't move that quickly with making boundaries.

It takes me a while, so.

So once you determine that you felt unsafe and that your husband's behaviors were unsafe,

mainly that he had been lying to you, why did you choose an in-home separation for your boundary at that time?

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