What did you say to an annoying customer to shut them the hell up?

One of my favorite stories from my brief time in customer service was when a man who called up

the night after a major hurricane was screaming that his service didn't work, that he'd complained

multiple times and this was the last straw. Clearly, our service sucked, and it was our fault his cable was out. He kept

cutting me off and calling me rude names when I finally just interjected, Sir, your cable isn't out

because of an issue with your service, your cable is out because a tree branch fell across the cable line.

What's that? How do I know? Because you live at number 78 and I live

at number 75. I saw the branch fall. I'm the one who went out in the rain last night to get the

branch out of the street. In fact, I know you know it's a branch because I could see you looking

out your window at me moving the branch that fell on your property. Not only that, but when I was

done, I went inside and called into work on my day off to arrange a bucket truck to come out

and rerun the cable so you could beat the rush of calls that came in all across the island

due to the storm. You didn't even have to call. A truck is already en route. And, well, that shut him up.

I worked at a photo printing lab and we got people in all the time who claimed we were stupid and had messed up their pictures.

One woman had us print 800 vacation pictures. They were bad quality, dark and out of focus.

When she came to pick them up, she insisted

that weird ruined them, and that they were perfect in her camera, and that she had a very

expensive camera, so there was no way the pictures could be dark or out of focus. We finally

gave her her money back, even though we had done nothing wrong, and we were out a lot of time

and paper. She called us 30 minutes later, and we were out a lot of time and paper.

She called us 30 minutes later, and told us she was at a store across town, and they'd

reprinted all of her pictures, and they were beautiful, in focus, and nice and bright.

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