What crazy accusation did someone make up about you at work?

I'm on the keto diet. That requires me to drink a metric crap ton of water, so I carry around a 1-litre nalgene bottle at all times.

I'm a mid-level manager at a 60-person company. At the end of the workday, on the way out, I passed the water cooler and I fill my bottle up for the commute home.

Yesterday I was doing just that when our office manager walked up and said the following.

You're leaving for the day, water is for employees to drink when they're working in the office only.

I laughed it off, finished filling my bottle and headed home.

I genuinely thought she was kidding, or at the very worst having a crappy day and lashing out.

She wasn't. Today I get into the office with an email from her to myself, my boss, who's our

CEO and founder, and our HR person saying that I'm stealing from the company, that I didn't

stop filling my water bottle and immediately apologize when confronted, and that she's officially

reporting this behavior and asking to have it documented.

Needless to say, we all had a pretty good laugh about it.

My boss called me in hysterics and could barely form a sentence he was laughing so hard, and

somebody wrote, is proper hydration good for the company on my water bottle?

Our office manager, however, is just walking by my office and glaring since then.

In short, I'm the Daniel Ocean of our office water cooler.

Ooh, update.

This morning, there was a fancy new Nalgene bottle on my desk,

and the crazy office manager came by and said that she was having a crazy week and apologized.

I showed her this comment,

laughs were had, and all is now good in my office world. Time clock thievery while doing

volunteer work. It was a simple volunteer gig, no major organization, and nobody was keeping

...