Welcome to the Total Socer Show weekend review.

My name is Ryan Bailey and I believe in the principle of surrounding yourself with people who are smarter and funnier than yourself.

Hence on today's pod, we have our good friend Graham Rutherland.

Graham, how are you today, sir?

Well, I'm not sure who else you've got on the podcast, Ryan, but I'm not sure I fit that criteria. But I am good. Nice to be on again.

Oh, he's smart, funny and modest. What a combo. Graham, I will ask you before we get going.

It seems like there's a pattern for soccer folks in Glasgow at the moment to take controversial

trips to Dubai. So are you on a shake yacht right now

or are you in Scotland? Where are you located? No, I'm currently in Scotland right now, which is rare at

this time of the year because I am normally on the Sheikh's yacht around a bit January time.

But it's moored at the moment, so unfortunately not. Oh, the shake must be missing. I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, I hope you get to catch up with him soon. Also, making a glorious return to the weekend review is someone who has more banter than the Marine fan holding a carpal cut out of Juergen Klopp in his back garden. It's Taylor, Taitay Rockwell. Like the rolling R there.

That was fun, wasn't it?

You roll that R quite well. Graham is modest. I'm just wary of these introductions. I feel like they're set up to larger jokes down the road, and I don't entirely trust you, Ryan Bailey. That is a wise position to take, Tate, a wise position to date. You know me too well. We've got plenty to talk about on this show, of course. It was F.A. Cup, third round weekend. An annual tradition of being slightly underwhelmed by the uncompetitive nature of English soccer games. We'll get into that very shortly. We've also got some continental action. We're going to go to Germany. We're going to go specifically to a German team who won a game, shock horror.

We've got the Dutch, the big game, De Topper, Iax against PSV coming up later as well.

And we're going to take some Serial action in as well from the Stadio Olimpico.

All that to come.

But first, let's start off, gents, if we can, with the FAA Cup third round.

Before we get into the game,

we're going to talk about Marine against Spurs,

which is the,

it represents the largest golf in teams in the competition's history,

Marine being in the eighth tier of English soccer,

...