Hey guys, it's your girl, Andrea, awkwardly tall girl, and I just wanted to let you know that

this week's episode will drop either on Thursday or Friday, and I felt the need to tell you all that.

Why? I'm not quite sure, but I actually do feel a little guilty every time I don't

release the episode at 6 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on Wednesdays. You know, one of the laundry

list traits is we get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of getting into others.

And for me, it's like we get guilt feelings when we release our podcast episode one to two days late

and feel the need to tell everyone about this. Oh man, but yeah, I also can't have y'all

forgetting about me or deciding that you don't like this podcast anymore. And if my friend Michelle

is listening, she knows what I'm talking about. So when I first got sober, I had this really

irrational fear that anytime I went out of town, even for a night, that my friends, all of my friends

were going to decide that they didn't like me anymore while I was away. So I would just text them

and call them constantly to get this reassurance that they hadn't decided that they didn't like me

anymore. And I was feeling pretty confident that I had worked through that, but perhaps me recording

this right now is saying that I haven't. You know, I've had some insight on this irrational fear

that people are going to decide that they don't like me anymore overnight. It's like not out of

sight, out of mind. It's like out of sight and you're dead to me. And I'll never talk to you

for the rest of my life. But I mean, so I've had some insight on where this shit came from. And so

part of it is obviously growing up in a dysfunctional family where I didn't know what to expect one

day to the next. But another way that this showed up for me outside of my family was in the first

grade. And I had this friend, we'll call her Susie. And every morning, I would walk into Mrs. Hases

first grade class. And I didn't know if today was going to be a day where Susie was my BFF,

or if today was going to be a day where Susie was so mean to me that I would get into the car

...