We Are Mops (with Sydnee Washington)

Keeping Records

Headgum

Comedy, Society & Culture, Places & Travel, Comedy Interviews, Documentary

5 • 726 Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2021

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Comedian and podcaster Sydnee Washington (Hobby Hunter, Syd Can Cook) is prepared to show the aliens what they need to know about humans: the power of Rhianna, Earth's laziness, what we're willing to do for horniness, and Queen Latifah. Sydnee's Artifacts Fenty Makeup (tool) Swiffer mop (tool) Strap-on (tool) Set It Off (audio-visual) "Do You Think...?" Listener Picks Mary Kate Olsen's Zoom Divorce (audio-visual) Nicki Minaj calling out Miley Cyrus at the VMAs (audio-visual) sensation of an icy hot patch (multisensory experience) Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a headgum original.
0:03.0	In 1977, NASA sent two solid gold records into space, so that aliens might find them and understand life on Earth.
0:20.0	I sent greetings on behalf of the people of our planet and friendly wishes to all who we encounter this voyage.
0:27.8	Now, we're making new records with our friends.
0:31.7	Good-jord, Tornu.
0:32.8	Manitia.
0:33.4	Ola and saludo-a-l-a-l-l-a-lakem.
0:35.9	We step out of our solar system into the universe seeking only peace and friendship.
0:42.7	We know full well that our planet and all its inhabitants are but a small part of this immense universe that surrounds us.
0:52.8	Hello from the children of planet Earth.
0:57.7	Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well,
1:01.5	well, well, well, well, wow, wow, wow, do you think I should invest in a tongue scraper?
1:06.6	What?
1:07.9	And don't cancel me, is that?
1:09.8	I don't know.
1:10.6	People keep talking about them. And I assume it's something to like have fresher breath. And let me be very clear. One, it's not like bad breath is like a condition I suffer with. But everyone can have fresher breath. But at the moment, it doesn't matter what my breath smells. Like, I don't see anyone.
1:28.5	But people keep talking about tongue scrapers. And I'm like, should I be buying one?
1:32.1	That's such a brave, it's such a brave thing for you to say to me, who spends every single
1:36.5	day with you to say, don't put on the pot that I have bad breath. It's not true and it's mean.
1:41.1	I'm not. And I'm actually just going to continue what I was saying, though, which was you saying
1:46.6	it doesn't matter how your breast smells.
1:48.1	Your breath could be really rank, fortunately for both of us.
	...

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