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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch. An in-depth look at the arches with me, Alison Hammond,

Jeff Thomas, Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman and Matt Rodriguez-Pain.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge. We began the week with Susan and Joy

reviewing staff surveys and pinning Ben up against the wall while forcing him to write. It is

all lovely, everything is lovely five stars would recommend. They decided to try and distract

customers from their unhinged interfering and incompetence by filling the shop with dogs and hammers.

Well, I can see that ending terrifically well.

David's thoughts were also running along dog and hammer lines

as his paranoia about Open Farm Sunday was running rampant to the extent that he wanted walkie-talkies.

This served two purposes for the scriptwriters,

one being allowing Ruth to repeat the words walkie-talkie over and over again, which was excellent,

and the other emphasising the genuine joy that men feel about having a walkie-talkie,

which makes them feel as if they're in the FBI and almost as important as when they have a fluorescent tabard.

David was having flashbacks to the protest, apparently.

I imagine regret around not having had a chance to finish the scotch eggs before the protesters arrived.

Ben calmed David down about his anxiety, and David sounded cheerful and said he wasn't worried at all,

which immediately made me expect Farm Sunday to be interrupted by Saskia and her cohort of Loon's,

absailing down from the barn roof on a bungee in letting

...