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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

An in-depth look at the archers with me, Jeff Thomas, Harriet Carl Michael. Well, he's been on it for months. Lucy Freeman and Matt Rodriguez Payne. And James Everett. Sorry, I took him off and I should have put him back now. I've been away so long. I can't, couldn't, don't even know who half these people are anyone.

That's a joke. Joke. Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge. We began the week at Open Farm Sunday, which far from being the

gang battle akin to one of those in a Brazilian favela, as pessimistically predicted by Panicay

David, was very pleasant. And Brookfield took the opportunity to patronise Bridge Farm and say to their

assembled crowd, who I have to say, were far quieter than normal. Tell you what, why don't you just

pop in to our impoverish relatives down the road to just say hello because they don't get many visitors

bless them father crispin had a bum bag tax deductible clean handkerchiefs and wanted to box

alan Alan Alan just wanted to punch father Crispin Kate on the other hand wanted to punch

Alan for not approving Peggy's window and Jacob wanted to punch Kate for being so rude.

Peace and love my ass. Kate described Crispin as confident and forthright, offered him a free

massage and killed him. Poor Henry was eavesdropping again. I wish they'd start telling that child

thing, so they just have to keep finding out what's going on by walking into other people's conversations.

He offered to literally take the weight

off Tony's shoulders by carrying Peggy's coffin, seemingly along with 27 other people, and as I imagine,

Peggy was one of those bird-like old ladies who weigh five stone ringing wet. They ought to be

able to toss her lightly from hand to hand between them. Justin has gone completely mad and decided to rewild the entire borough estate.

Only Justin could make a grand gesture designed to improve world conditions and yet managed

...