Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm your guest bailiff, John Roderick. This week,

visitation rights. Kevin brings the case against his friend Ross. Kevin lives in Brooklyn,

and Ross lives in NIAC, a small town further north. Kevin says he's tired of making the trek to

visit his friend in the country, and that Ross should come to visit the city once in a while.

Ross says things are pretty much fine as they are. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom.

If you started seeing them around town, the following autumn, people in white clothing,

traveling in same sex pairs, always smoking.

Laurie recognized a few of them. Barbara Santangelo, whose son was in her daughter's class.

Marty Powers, who used to play softball with her husband, and whose wife had been taken in the

rapture, or whatever it was. Mostly they ignored you, but sometimes they followed you around as if

they were private detectives hired to keep track of your movements. If you said hello,

they just gave you a blank look. But if you asked a more substantive question,

they handed over a business card printed on one side with the following message.

We are members of the guilty remnant. We have taken a vow of silence. We stand before you as

living reminders of God's awesome power, and Judge John Hodgman's judgment is upon us.

In smaller type on the other side of the card was a web address you could consult for more

information, www.maximumfund.org-donate. Guest bail of John Roderick, please swear them in.

That he is in no way a jurist has undertaken no study of the law, is admitted to no professional

association nor passed any state bar, is recognized by no federal nor foreign agency,

and derives his authority entirely and exclusively from his status as a grandiose former minor

television personality. Yes, yes. Thank you, Judge, you may proceed. Now let me ask you a question,

...