PREMIER LEAGUE: Top 5 battle ends appropriately with a damp fart as Newcastle backs into UCL while Aston Villa backs out (albeit somewhat controversially) and Nottingham Forest can't get it done. Long summer ahead for some teams, notably Villa. Also, flowers are festooned on deserving FPL winners... and one loser.

HALFTIME: What If you could choose where Ronaldo plays next - where's he going?

ROUND THE WORLD: the lads try their best to tear down Tottenham's European Championship, plus a preview of the Champions and Conference League finals, highlights from around the rest of Europe, MLS hit-it-n-quit-it minute and some quick thoughts on Poch's USMNT roster (notably the absence of Christian Pulisic).

STOPPAGE TIME: Ivan Toney's Best Bets and GOAWs