The Bert Show.

If you're single, when it comes to lifelong commitments, I'm guessing the biggest problem

you have is actually finding a man to spend the rest of your life with.

Not in Shelly's case.

She found her man.

She was getting married.

In her case, her biggest obstacle was actually finding women to be in her wedding.

Hi, Shelly.

Hi, Bert. How are you? Good morning. How are you? I'm pretty good. I think I have stars, so please excuse me if I go into a coughing fit. That will certainly entice people the one of being here. You said I had these qualifications. You made it sound like I have a checklist. I'm desperate. Beggars can't be choosers.

I don't have a checklist.

Okay.

Okay, because that was my issue.

I was like, hold on a second.

I know.

It makes it sound like, well, no, why? She can't get a bridesmaic. She's totally out of us. Right, right, right. All right, right. Well, tell us why you haven't been able to find some other bridesmaids to be in the wedding.

Well, I thought about it after I talked to Tracy yesterday, and I think the biggest reason is because I am so totally lazy. Friends take so much time. Girl, how'd you find a man if you don't want to put the time? Well, that's a little bit easier. They require a little bit less time than girlfriend. Girlfriends are sometimes high maintenance. I would agree with her that. I guess there are people I could ask, but I would feel so self-conscious doing it. Like, hi, I know we just met and we've only worked together three months, but could you be my maid of honor? Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, that's weird. And like calling a radio station and getting listeners to be your bridesmaids. That's so far on the other side of superficial that it makes it okay. Okay. Yeah.

Now, how many bridesmaids were you originally supposed to have? We're supposed to originally have five. Okay. But through, you know, like subterfuge, I've managed to get it down to three. So I've got one person. We've been working together for a while. Like a couple of months ago, I thought, you know, hey, I don't have any brides.

I should be really nice to this person.

She's okay.

At least you're honest at lunch. Yeah. You know, we've been going to lunch a little bit, and I've asked her, but she has no clue. Like, she's the only one. So she doesn't know yet. She's like the maid of honor and, you know, the honor attended.

And that's it.

Now, why do you need to have three?

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