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The Bert Show

Vault: Babysitting Horror Stories

The Bert Show

The Bert Show

Entertainment News, Society & Culture, Comedy, News

4.14.4K Ratings

🗓️ 7 November 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Vault: Babysitting Horror Stories

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Transcript

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0:00.0

This is The Bird Show.

0:02.5

I don't remember.

0:03.5

Do you guys remember what we were talking about yesterday?

0:05.8

We're talking about it. Lockout. We're talking about getting locked out of the house. Jen Hobby told a very funny story about a friend of hers who got locked outside the house. And so our intern Jennifer stepped up because she had a story about that. This is her talking to us yesterday. Yeah, well, I was babysitting, and the kid and I were playing in the yard,

0:23.5

and the ball went over the fence or something,

0:25.6

and he got pissed and ran inside the house and locked me outside.

0:31.3

How old was he?

0:32.4

About 10.

0:34.1

So I was locked outside the house, and so, like, I had to go to the neighbor's house and be like, the 10-year-old kid locked me out. 404-741-105. I have never babysat in my life. I don't know how I was okay with that. Well, I'm an only child, so I didn't have any siblings to deal with. And there were so many kids...

0:54.1

Deal with. I like the way you said that. And there were so many kids on our street, like girls on our street who were like babysitters that I never got roped into. Like my parents were going out with the neighbors and I had to watch the neighbor's kid or something. So there were always girls willing to do it for whatever. So I never had to deal with the adventures of babysitting to take it from the movie.

1:14.4

I did. girls willing to do it for whatever. So I never had to deal with the adventures of babysitting

1:13.1

to take it from the movie. I did. Believe it or not, one time. I actually babysat one time,

1:18.4

two little boys, and it was one time. It scarred you for life? Because I'm the youngest, and so

1:24.0

I didn't babysit any younger siblings.

1:30.7

So I wasn't used to younger siblings.

1:32.4

And most of my friends didn't have younger siblings.

1:34.9

So most of my friends were the babies of the family too.

1:37.5

So little kids still intimidate me.

1:38.8

And so I... And so, yeah.

1:40.7

So, I mean, the kids survived.

1:42.7

The parents came home.

1:44.1

The house was okay. You know, like I said, they were still alive. So, I mean, it was successful, but I only did it one time. Yeah, I babysat for most, I mean, everybody, we were earlier talking about our first jobs and our, like, crazy first jobs. Most of my, all of my first jobs were all babysitting. I would do it. Did you with your friends have, like, a babysitting business? No, we didn't have a club or anything, but my mom is a teacher. And so, of course, we knew lots of families through the school. My mom's an elementary school teacher. So, or was an elementary school teacher. And so anyway, so I always babysat for the kids in her class and all the different families at her school and everything else.

...

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