Vanessa Bennett: Mothers and Wives: Resentment Is Yours to Own

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

Tami Simon

Religion, Spirituality, Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tami Simon and depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett explore the psyche's need to experience initiation in our key life transitions, using resentment as a focal point for healing, how to change our unhealthy patterns in relationships, and reclaiming personal agency.

What relationship myth causes us the most suffering? According to depth psychologist Vanessa Bennett, it's this: "That if you're not fulfilled by parenthood, sex, or your relationships, then there's something wrong with you." Why? Because it's often the fault of our culture, and not you personally, that's to blame.

This week, Tami Simon welcomes the author of The Motherhood Myth to discuss the hidden pressures and misconceptions surrounding parenthood and intimate partnership—and how looking at your resentments is a surprisingly direct way to discover the roots of the wounds that unconsciously drive unhappiness in your relationships.

Join us to explore:

At your life's turning points, why your unconscious may invite chaos or trauma
The societal roots of discontent in parenthood and intimate relationships
How Vanessa's own experiences—from her neighborhood's destruction by fire to everyday life with her daughter and husband—illustrate how to grow and heal
"If you're good, I'm good. And if you're not, I'm not"—codependency explained
The "choose me" wound—how we abandon ourselves in relationships and how to reintegrate
The "Consent Tool," a practice to help restore safety and intimacy in your relationships, and more

If you've ever felt frustrated about the demands of your relationships—obvious or hidden—this episode will spark a wealth of "aha!" moments and insights for change.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listeners of Insights At The Edge get 10% off their first month at www.betterhelp.com/soundstrue.

Note: This interview originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The Sounds True Podcast Network.
0:10.7	I always say resentment is your codependency being activated.
0:14.6	So if I can take stock of even a tiny little bit of resentment, it doesn't have to be some massive overwhelm.
0:20.6	And I can say, okay, what am I not speaking about?
0:23.3	What am I brushing under the rug?
0:25.1	What am I wishing we're different?
0:27.8	What aspect of this person?
0:29.2	Am I wishing we're different?
0:33.7	In this episode of Insights at the Edge, my guest is Vanessa Bennett.
0:39.3	Vanessa is a licensed depth psychotherapist, author and facilitator, known for her direct yet compassionate approach to mental health.
0:49.6	She's the co-author of the book, It's Not Me, It's You you with her partner, John Kim, and co-hosts the podcast
0:57.2	cheaper than therapy. Now, with Sounds True, Vanessa Bennett is the author of a new book.
1:05.5	It's a remarkable book, a book that I can highly recommend. It's called The Motherhood Myth, a depth psychotherapist's
1:15.1	guide to redefine parenting, reimagine intimacy, and reclaim the self. Friends, stay with us.
1:29.7	This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
1:33.7	In honor of World Mental Health Day this October, we're joining with our friends at Better
1:39.5	Help to celebrate and thank all of the therapists in our lives.
1:45.4	When I was in college, that is, dropping out of college, therapy was a lifeline.
1:52.6	Quite honestly, I don't know if I would be here without it.
1:57.5	I didn't fit in academia and never fit many of our cultural norms and accepted frameworks.
2:06.6	And it's been painful to feel so very different.
2:12.6	Therapy has been a healing space, a place where I felt accepted and even further met, challenged, and
	...

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