Unmet Needs vs. Unrealistic Standards: How to Know the Difference

Jillian on Love

Daylight Media

Society & Culture, Sexuality, Mental Health, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jillian dives into one of the most confusing parts of love—telling the difference between an unmet need and an unrealistic expectation. She breaks down how projection, attachment, and self-awareness shape what we ask for in relationships, and what happens when those needs go unanswered. Plus, she answers a moving listener question about letting go of unrequited love, sharing tangible ways to find peace and move forward. Download Jillian’s FREE limerence workbook, http://jillianturecki.com/workbook Join my community and membership, The Conscious Woman Submit your relationship question for Jillian at https://forms.gle/FbtgkGTwfnrjvHwW7 Order Jillian's book It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on: Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at hello@jillianonlove.com Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon ~~ Follow Jillian Turecki on: Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey there, welcome back to Jillian on Love.
0:08.4	One of the hardest parts of being in a relationship is knowing the difference between
0:19.6	unmet needs and unrealistic expectations.
0:25.6	A profound lesson that I've learned about doing this work for so long is that when we have
0:33.4	these grand expectations of our partner and of our relationship. Believe it or not, that leads to more
0:42.9	breakups than you can ever imagine. And a lot of us are walking around with very unrealistic,
0:51.2	very unrealistic expectations of our partner and of our relationship with them. And yet, our needs in a
0:59.3	relationship are very important. People don't break up when their needs are being met.
1:04.4	It's just the bottom line. But where do we draw that line between the needs that we should
1:10.7	expect to be met and the expectations that we have that are sabotaging our chances of being in something healthy and fulfilling?
1:23.9	And so I break it all down in this episode episode and this is actually an episode that was released
1:29.2	about a year ago and it was so incredibly popular so many of you found it to be one of the
1:36.6	most helpful podcast episodes they've ever listened to ever so I wanted to release it again
1:43.2	because it is probably one of the most important
1:46.0	messages and teachings that I could ever share with you how to know when your needs are being
1:53.5	unmet or you are just unrealistically expecting something from someone else. So without further ado, here's the episode.
2:03.7	When we enter a relationship with someone who we're very excited about, until we become aware of
2:11.6	this, this is something that lives inside all of us. We have an unconscious desire, an unconscious hope, an unconscious
2:19.8	dream that this other person is going to come into our life and heal all our childhood wounds
2:28.6	and fill all our voids and make up for the fact that we have, you know, this problem and that problem.
2:39.3	And that they're going to make us feel whole. And it's not our fault for believing that
2:45.9	because this is part of what we've been fed by literature and films and art, right? And we are all on a quest
	...

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