TU161: Managing Unconscious Defense & Fear with Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Social Sciences, Society & Culture, Science, Relationships, Education, Self-improvement

4.7 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 2 November 2021

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Overcome defense and fear - Catch up with hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott while they discuss the difference between cognitive understanding of modern attachment and regulation and the bottom-up experience of it. We distort information coming in - either by not registering interpersonal information or by over-interpreting the importance of an exchange (up-regulating with fear). This is an unconscious process that to undo we have to have the courage and the resources to feel the feelings that cause us to defend. They walk through it with you they don't just tell you what to do, so join us in understanding our own defensive process. Find episode notes at therapistuncensored.com/episodes.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Here's the thing, if we don't quickly assess that we have the resources to deal with the
0:04.3	thing that is scaring us, then we're going to just stay right over there in our comfortable
0:08.1	red or comfortable blue or disregulated defensive space.
0:12.3	So what we're directing right now is anybody that's hearing our voice right now, like we're
0:18.3	talking to you specifically, and you can handle the feeling that you're avoiding by doing
0:26.2	the threat response, whether it be the preoccupation and the anxiety or the down regulation and
0:32.2	the zipped up, talk to the hand.
0:34.6	You have the fear for a reason, and you believe you can't, at times, handle that experience.
0:41.5	And we're saying, you can.
0:43.6	You can handle that fear of abandonment that's maybe being activated inside you.
0:49.6	And what happens is that we might activate all these strategies to avoid that feeling
0:53.6	inside of us, but slowing down with the feeling and going, I can't, I have the internal
0:59.4	resources.
1:00.4	I have resources that I can access around me in order to know that I can handle that feeling.
1:08.8	Welcome to Therapist Uncensored, building on decades of professional experience.
1:12.7	This podcast tackles neurobiology, modern attachment, and more in an honest, easily digestible
1:18.0	way.
1:19.0	This session begins right now with Dr. Anne Kelly and Sue Marriott.
1:26.0	Hey everybody, we are super excited to be back.
1:31.6	We are energized.
1:33.4	I was joking that we had a bend bending around the bend.
1:38.4	And we had a great time bending around the bend.
	...

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