Tony's Pre-Therapy Check List w/Bonus "Why Are Relationships Complicated?"

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 22 February 2022

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Recently, Tony had a couple of clients return to his couch after a several-year gap. One client asked Tony if he could sum up everything that the client had missed during his time away from therapy? Another client asked the simple question of why are relationships so complicated? Tony shares several concepts that answer both questions, what has he added to his therapist-tools over the last few years and why relationships are so challenging, and what can one do to improve themselves so that they show up more emotionally mature in their relationships? With the continuing "sheltering" rules spreading across the country, PLEASE do not think you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch, you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everybody, come on and take a seat on the virtual couch.
0:21.9	Hey everybody, welcome to episode 309 of the virtual couch.
0:25.0	I am your host, Tony Overbay.
0:26.1	I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband, father of four,
0:31.8	ultra marathon runner, and creator of the Path Back, a pornography recovery program that is helping
0:36.5	people reclaim their lives
0:37.7	from turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms like pornography, but the same can be said for anything,
0:42.4	whether it's video games, whether it's food, whether it's your phone, whenever we really don't
0:46.3	feel like we are connected or being our authentic self, or if we don't feel like we're in alignment
0:51.3	with our values, how easy is it to just turn to some coping mechanism? There are so many coping mechanisms as I have noticed lately, whether it is turning to my phone for games or, my goodness, I just watched a tremendous amount of TikTok this morning. And that was the last thing that I wanted to do. And I got to own that. I got to take responsibility of that. But as soon as I noticed that I was doing that, I would love to say that then I noticed it. I forgave myself and I got right back to the present
1:15.7	moment. But no, I told myself I'd give myself another three or four minutes and I don't even know
1:20.3	how many minutes. That's a lie. It was another 10 minutes. But here I am and we're going to record this podcast. And I've had a couple of people over the last
1:28.2	probably two to three weeks who I haven't seen in a while. And there are former clients that
1:32.3	still have access to my scheduling portal. And they've come in to see me. And it's been so
1:37.5	great to see some of these people. But it's been a long time. And as a therapist, you really do evolve and you're continually just on a day-to-day
1:44.9	basis. You're in the lab. You're having people come in. And if I even just look at the last
1:49.5	couple of years, as I've learned more about the concepts of differentiation or external
1:53.7	validation, becoming interdependent versus codependent, or all these other buzzwords that I
1:57.8	promise you that I will make sense of. I had someone, one of these people,
2:01.3	what do you think the biggest problem is that you see in a couple's relationship? And I'm, well,
2:07.4	I probably, I will probably touch on my four pillars at some point. But I just said, hey,
2:12.1	you got a few minutes. And they were the last client I had in the day. And so I said, let me just lay out something. I would love for you to just comment as I go along.
	...

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