Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-29-21
Monday Morning Podcast
All Things Comedy
4.7 • 34.1K Ratings
🗓️ 29 July 2021
⏱️ 125 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Bill rambles about the Olympics, black bean burgers, and skateboarding.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking it on you. |
| 0:11.0 | I'm just checking to see if you can still pee, if you're old like me, you can't kidding. Anyway, what's going on? |
| 0:22.0 | Nice to be here. Nice to be here. I saw I saw I saw something on the internet. I cannot get to a fucking standup stage fast enough. |
| 0:35.0 | It was just such a gift from the comedy gods. I don't even know what angle to drop it. It's just every fucking angle is funny. |
| 0:46.0 | I'm going to tell you the topic. Some fucking idiot guy hooked himself up to a car battery so we could see what it felt like to deliver a baby. |
| 0:56.0 | I mean, sometimes you got a dig for the comedy and other times it's just presented on a pillow. One of them royal pillows, right? Somebody comes in. |
| 1:07.0 | Dress with his fucking socks, yanked up to his knees, you know, the little puffy pants. Yeah, you are, sir, 10 minutes of fucking material. Unbelievable. |
| 1:17.0 | Unfuckin' believable. Jesus Christ. It's just I can't, you know, but I'm actually I'm going to a wedding this weekend. |
| 1:29.0 | Oh, Billy Twinkle toes is going to be out on the dance floor. Oh my God, a white man sober at a fucking wedding. Oh, being dragged out on the dance floor. Jesus Christ. |
| 1:40.0 | Oh my God. If I could just get through that, I think I'll be alright. |
| 1:51.0 | Okay, issue question. Why isn't it okay with people that dance that other people don't dance? Why can't they just leave us alone? Why can't you just leave? I'm having a good time. |
| 2:02.0 | I don't need to be twirlin' around fucking ripping my suit or whatever the fuck it is you're doing. You're good at it. That's what you should be doing. Fantastic. |
| 2:11.0 | Why do I have to fucking go out there? I don't want to go out there. Can't I just sit over here and just fucking you know? |
| 2:18.0 | I have something to eat. Talk to somebody. Gotta go out there like fucking Fred is staring and fucking jumping around poles and shit. |
| 2:25.0 | I mean, I don't understand. I just do not understand why that is a part of a wedding. |
| 2:32.0 | Like a required part of it. Like if I showed up, you know, I wore the suit. I applauded. I brought a gift. |
| 2:41.0 | Now you don't get credit unless you get out. Take those old records off the shelf. Why? Jesus Christ. |
| 2:53.0 | Then you fucking check it's mad if you don't fucking go out there. Come on out here. I don't want to. Do I get mad at you when you don't want to go to a football game? |
| 3:02.0 | You say it's boring. I like to grass. The grass is pretty. Do I go like, I am like so fucking mad at you right now. It's like I get it. You don't want to do this shit. |
| 3:11.0 | I will never do this to you again. Nope. I've been joking with my wife all week. I'm like, I'm not doing it. Okay. |
| 3:19.0 | I'm in therapy right now and my I'm going to make my for the first time in my life. My nose are going to me. No. |
| 3:25.0 | I am not I am not drinking for long. No. It was getting I'm going to get out there. I'll have a good time. But I am just fucking. |
... |
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