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Monday Morning Podcast

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-26-20

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.734.1K Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2020

⏱️ 108 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about the upside of a pandemic, the Cheesecake Factory, and the thigh master.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrd. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.

0:08.4

It's just checking in on you.

0:13.2

Just checking in on you during the pandemic, keeping it up, keeping it positive.

0:20.7

Oh, these fucking gloom and doom assholes. What does this mean? What does this mean for America?

0:26.1

Do you realize this is the most comfort you could in the history of the fucking world that people have ever rode out a pandemic, which would have been a fucking epidemic back in the day?

0:36.1

Jesus Christ, can you imagine renting an apartment from the fucking Astor family 100 years ago?

0:43.8

Living down in a fucking basement with 22 other fucking Polish, German, fucking all kinds of fucking people sitting there in the damp recesses.

0:53.2

Some shit hole, no central air conditioning, no heat, everybody getting fucking tuberculosis.

1:00.4

Nobody given a fuck.

1:03.2

Die in a low.

1:06.1

Down there with your neck is on as the guy next to you is like, why are you on a right?

1:11.8

What's the problem? Huh?

1:14.8

You got to jump in the shower after you take a shit. I mean, that's the worst fucking problem you have.

1:21.6

Here's the thing. I don't know how long this is going to fucking last.

1:24.2

All right, but it's going to feel like twice as long if people are fucking whining about it.

1:28.9

What's your fucking whining?

1:31.2

And I'm not talking about people who are broke.

1:33.8

I'm not talking about poor people.

1:35.2

I'm talking about people who are fucking fine.

1:38.1

You're just bored.

1:40.4

Your board. Do you think you'd be bored if you were fucking in that basement apartment with TB fighting all fucking polio?

1:45.9

I don't think you'd be bored. I think your heart would be racing.

...

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