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You're listening to Comedy Central.

Yeah. You're listening to Comedy Central. As many of you know, war is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

And class is in session.

I give you the straight of Hormuz.

Of course, Gen Z will tell you no Hormuz is 100% straight.

But it's a passageway choke point for 20% of the world's oil, kind of a lazy river for fossil fuels.

Not to be confused with the strategic Iranian island of Khargh, which we also attacked.

We attacked Harg and Khormuz.

Because if we've learned anything from these past 20 years, it's that America will bomb anywhere that has a scrabble score above 12.

Oh, we'll get to you, Uzbekistan.

And you guys, you're not going to believe what Iran did after we attacked them. Breaking news.

The Supreme Leader said that the Strait of Hormuz, which is a critical shipping lane for nearly 20% of the world's crude oil will remain closed.

What? What a dick?

Was it scheduled maintenance? Oh, oh, wait. Is this because of the incessant bombing?

Oh, we're going to play the one card we have to stop you from collapsing all of our infrastructure.

Real mature.

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