This Week's News | Jon Stewart and Michael Kosta on Trump's WTF War with Iran
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Comedy Central
4.2 • 14.2K Ratings
🗓️ 7 March 2026
⏱️ 43 minutes
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to Comedy Central. |
| 0:07.6 | Early Saturday morning, American Israel launched a surprise war against Iran. |
| 0:14.4 | I called a surprise war, because here's what one of the mediators said after negotiations on Friday. |
| 0:23.7 | I am confident and in my assessment of the way the talks are going, the peace deal is within |
| 0:31.3 | our reach. |
| 0:32.4 | Oh, the peace deal is within our reach. |
| 0:35.0 | But it turns out the bomb shit button was much closer. |
| 0:39.7 | The devastating effects of a regional war have made everyone very nervous and one person very happy. |
| 0:47.8 | This enables us to do what I have long hoped to do for 40 years. |
| 0:52.5 | What? |
| 0:54.6 | I've had four decades of regime change blue balls. |
| 1:01.0 | But of course, the announcement that our nation is at war is the most solemn moment |
| 1:04.7 | of any president's tenure in an opportunity to reassure an anxious nation and to reaffirm |
| 1:10.0 | the righteousness of the cause. |
| 1:11.7 | A short time ago, the United States military began |
| 1:15.8 | major combat operations in Iran. |
| 1:20.3 | Yeah, I'm sorry, can I just jump in here real quick? |
| 1:23.8 | This is how we're doing this? |
| 1:26.3 | 2 a.m. Mar-a-Lago basement? |
| 1:28.7 | No lighting? |
| 1:30.1 | You don't even have one of those influencer halo things? |
| 1:36.5 | Just fucking go down in the basement, and this is what we're wearing? |
... |
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