meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Daily Show: Ears Edition

This Week's News | Jon Stewart and Michael Kosta on Trump's WTF War with Iran

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Comedy Central

Comedy, News, Daily News

4.214.2K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2026

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Get caught up on the news of the week with Jon Stewart and Michael Kosta. Jon Stewart dives into America and Israel’s impromptu attack on Iran, Trump’s laid-back war announcement from the Mar-a-Lago basement, and MAGA’s refusal to sell the American people on the plan, purpose, and duration of the war. Michael Kosta breaks down the first four days of Trump's war on Iran: the U.S. government offers to evacuate Americans from the Middle East via bus, Trump stocks up for another forever war, conservatives quibble over the definition of "war," and friendly fire takes out $300 million worth of U.S. fighter jets. It only took five days for America's war on Iran to go off the rails, as Trump ponders the worst-case scenario, a nepo baby emerges as a top candidate to lead Iran, Sen. Markwayne Mullin stumbles over his war semantics, and Michael challenges Pete Hegseth to rethink his villainous “no mercy” speech. Finally, Michael dives into the cracks in Trump’s cabinet: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem is fired in the wake of ICE chaos, corruption accusations, and affair rumors, RFK Jr. makes enemies out of Dunkin’ and Starbucks, and Pete Hegseth finds time amid the war in Iran to focus on a pet project: stripping Scouting America of its wokeness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

You're listening to Comedy Central.

0:07.6

Early Saturday morning, American Israel launched a surprise war against Iran.

0:14.4

I called a surprise war, because here's what one of the mediators said after negotiations on Friday.

0:23.7

I am confident and in my assessment of the way the talks are going, the peace deal is within

0:31.3

our reach.

0:32.4

Oh, the peace deal is within our reach.

0:35.0

But it turns out the bomb shit button was much closer.

0:39.7

The devastating effects of a regional war have made everyone very nervous and one person very happy.

0:47.8

This enables us to do what I have long hoped to do for 40 years.

0:52.5

What?

0:54.6

I've had four decades of regime change blue balls.

1:01.0

But of course, the announcement that our nation is at war is the most solemn moment

1:04.7

of any president's tenure in an opportunity to reassure an anxious nation and to reaffirm

1:10.0

the righteousness of the cause.

1:11.7

A short time ago, the United States military began

1:15.8

major combat operations in Iran.

1:20.3

Yeah, I'm sorry, can I just jump in here real quick?

1:23.8

This is how we're doing this?

1:26.3

2 a.m. Mar-a-Lago basement?

1:28.7

No lighting?

1:30.1

You don't even have one of those influencer halo things?

1:36.5

Just fucking go down in the basement, and this is what we're wearing?

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Comedy Central, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Comedy Central and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.