Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights

from parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

This is what to train them in. It's easy to forget it when you see them hitting a sibling or you catch them in a lie, when you hear them say something mean, when the call comes in from school or worse, the police station. It's easy to forget that our kids are good, that they have good morals, a good heart, that they are still that same innocent and pure little thing we brought home from the hospital. It's easy to forget because we're so worried, so worried that our sweet, innocent, and pure thing will end up like most of the people we meet in life, which is to say not so innocent and pure. But Dr. Becky, who has a great book whose title reminds us that our kids are good inside. And seriously, I've been raving about this book. You've got to grab it. Have it at the painted porch. I'll link to it. Anyway, she writes that we don't have to train our kids to be good and kind. Instead, she writes, we have to help them manage some of the barriers to kindness that can look on the surface like harsh behavior, but that in reality emerged to protect a child. She's talking about things like shame, which are

usually behind the lies or the cheating or the refusal to apologize. She's talking about simple stuff.

Our kids want to do well, but they're tired, they're scared, they're overwhelmed. They're having

trouble regulating their emotions. If we start from the assumption that our kids are good

inside and always have been and

always will be, then our job as parents shift, instead of lecturing them about what the right

thing is, instead of hectoring them, instead of criticizing them to the point of making them doubt

themselves, our job is to help them get rid of the obstacles to that goodness.

Our job is to teach them to deal with their frustrations, to regulate their emotions,

to process fear and shame so that these things don't get in the way of doing what they

already know is right.

So nothing prevents them from being as good and kind and wonderful as we know deep down,

they already are.

Hey, you're listening to the Daily Dad podcast, one meditation a day inspired to help you do your most important job, which is be a great father.

These are meditations inspired by ancient wisdom, psychological research, and just great strategies from normal dads just like you. Thanks for listening.