This Episode is Tr*mp Free!
The Bugle
The Bugle
4.8 • 6.6K Ratings
🗓️ 8 October 2025
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, Andy Zaltzman is joined by Helen Zaltzman for a transcendental episode of The Bugle — one that’s proudly, intentionally, and gloriously Trump-free.
👼 We turn our attention to higher beings — spiritual, celestial, and possibly bureaucratic. Are they watching us? Guiding us? Or just muting Earth’s notifications?
🐒 In animal news, we ponder what our furry co-inhabitants might think of humanity’s latest efforts at intelligence — artificial or otherwise.
💘 And speaking of which… relationships with AI. Love in the time of algorithms: when your soulmate’s a chatbot and your toaster knows too much.
Expect enlightenment, existential dread, and at least one argument about whether your phone is judging you.
🎧 Support The Bugle! Get bonus episodes, exclusive videos, and the smug serenity of a Team Bugle subscription: thebuglepodcast.com
📺 Watch Realms Unknown on YouTube, and pick up the audiobook for A Passion for Passion here: thebuglepodcast.com
Produced by Chris Skinner and Laura Turner.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Bugle! Audio Newspaper for a visual world. |
| 0:14.0 | Hello, buglers, and welcome to issue 4,355 of the world's only ever, |
| 0:20.4 | and last remaining audio newspaper for a visual world, bringing you pure, |
| 0:25.3 | unadulterable truth since 2007. I'm Andy Zaltzman. It is the 6th of October 2025, and this is a very |
| 0:32.2 | special bugle, because in my efforts to do my bit to bring about world peace. I'm refusing to record this week's show |
| 0:38.9 | unless all the following stipulations are fulfilled. |
| 0:42.6 | One, that we don't record in a shed. |
| 0:45.0 | B, that we're north of the equator, |
| 0:46.8 | and C, that we're not in zero gravity. |
| 0:48.8 | And only one place fulfills those three criteria, |
| 0:50.9 | and that is Chris's studio. |
| 0:52.8 | And also that my co-host this week are only people I've known since at least 1980, |
| 0:58.1 | and who are at least five years younger than me. |
| 1:01.0 | The co-host must also share more than 50% of the same DNA as I have, |
| 1:05.9 | and the co-host's surname must begin with a high-value scrabble letter |
| 1:09.6 | and with only one of the vowels in, and their first name must begin with a high-value scrabble letter and with only one of the vowels in and their first name must begin with a medium value scrabble letter and also have only one of the vowels in. I like to put a lot of details in my plans for World Peace. I know it's not really trendy but it's just the way I am. So there's only one person who fulfills those criteria. It's Helen Zaltzman. Thank you, Andy. I know that I'm not here on merit, list on technicalities. And Scrabble scores. Yes. Are there two Zs in a Scrabble set? Well, you can use a blank, can you? Get the Z on a double or some kind. Double or a triple. And like a triple word. |
| 1:44.4 | But then be disqualified for being a proper noun. |
| 1:46.2 | Yeah. |
| 1:47.0 | Well, yeah, but... |
| 1:47.6 | It's a bad game, Andy. |
| 1:48.7 | Yes. |
| 1:49.5 | But in time, it will evolve into a verb. |
... |
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