Think of Everything They Missed

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Society & Culture, Dads, Relationships, Parenting, Self-improvement, Kids & Family, Ryan Holiday, Wisdom, Education, Fatherhood

4.8 • 602 Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2020

⏱️ 3 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

"You read an old book and it’s pretty common: Dads didn’t used to be present for the birth of their children. Sometimes they weren’t even in town—they’d heard about it in a letter or a call, and not meet their own kids for days or weeks or months until after they were born... Things are way different now. A lot more is demanded of fathers and also of mothers. It’s hard, but also… what a gift!"

Ryan explains what those parents of previous generations missed out on on today's Daily Dad Podcast.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your
0:14.1	most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical
0:20.3	wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world.
0:24.5	Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.
0:33.3	Think of everything they missed.
0:36.2	You read an old book, and it's pretty common. Dads didn't
0:39.3	used to be present for the birth of their children. Sometimes they weren't even in town. They heard
0:43.3	about it in a letter or a call, and they might not meet their own kids for days or weeks or months
0:48.2	after they were born. It's stunning to hear about the practices of the aristocracy who would
0:53.1	essentially hand their kids over to nursemaids
0:55.4	after birth and basically not interact with them again until they were little, three or four-year-old human
1:01.0	beings. And then a couple years later, they'd prepare to send them away to boarding school.
1:05.4	Even your own parents' generations. Think of the expectations on your father versus the expectations on us today. Things are
1:12.5	way different now. A lot more is demanded of fathers and also mothers. It's hard, but also, what, a gift.
1:19.9	Think of all that your ancestors missed out on. Was it a burden to see your son or daughter born? No.
1:25.8	It was one of the most profound experiences of
1:28.1	your life. The psychologist John Bolby, a pioneer of attachment theory, talking about the British
1:33.6	practice of boarding schools would joke that he wouldn't even send a seven-year-old dog away to
1:38.9	boarding school. Can you imagine doing that to your kids? Can you imagine handing over their care to
1:44.1	someone else and another part of your house and just going about your kids? Can you imagine handing over their care to someone else
1:44.6	in another part of your house and just going about your life? No, because it sounds horrible,
1:49.6	not just for them, but for you. These expectations placed upon us. They are not punishments.
	...

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