This is in conversation from Apple News. I'm Shimita Bassu. Our think again series continues.

Today, how to have a more equal partnership.

A few years ago, Kate Manjino had a ton on her plate. She was teaching multiple undergraduate

classes while finishing her PhD. She had two young kids, two and five years old. Her husband was working a

nine to five job, so Kate was taking on a lot of the parenting and household

responsibilities.

I was the parent that got the phone call from daycare when someone was sick and had to come home early.

And I was overwhelmed and struggling.

Then one day, Kate's PhD advisor told her

her deadline was getting moved up.

Instead of two months to hand in her dissertation,

she now had one month.

And I went home that night and I sobbed.

I mean, I just, I couldn't get myself together.

I cried and cried and cried.

The kids were in bed.

I remember sitting on my kitchen floor which was filthy that was part of the problem because I thought and on top of everything else I have to clean my kitchen floor. Her husband tried to comfort her. He kept saying,

tell me what I can do to help you.

And I got angry and I said, don't you understand telling you what to do to help is work.

That adds more to my plate.

I don't want to tell you what to do.

I just want you to step up and do it.

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