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That's Better Help H-E-L-P.com. We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can

only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 1370.

P.S. 10618.

Certificate number 43485.

The Universal Studios Fire. You know it's a lie falls that'll be the day when I die well Now this, let me squeak my chair a couple of times for the people that keep the omnibus chair squeak Twitter feed going.

That should just be the first minute of every show.

I like to feed them some.

30 seconds of ASMR, 30 seconds of chair squeaking.

...