The Trauma Bond Dynamic *Lite*
Big Conversations with Haley Hoffman Smith
Haley Hoffman Smith
4.8 • 594 Ratings
🗓️ 28 June 2022
⏱️ 34 minutes
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Summary
Let's discuss trauma bonds! *LITE version* (Major disclaimer that this does NOT cover the other use case of the term "Trauma Bond" relating to abusive relationships. If you are currently experiencing abuse, please refer to the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233).
This episode dives into the interesting subtle emotional and psychological factors that can BOND two people in a relationship that may look healthy/normal, but has tendencies for hyper-dependence, resentment, jealousy, inconsistency, and more. I go over how you know if one of your relationships is a trauma bond *lite*, how it's usually revealed, and what a healthy relationship should look like. This should definitely spark some considerations about those subtle relationship dynamics and what healing may want to take place!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You can always tell if it's a trauma bond truly if the emotional reaction is stronger |
| 0:06.2 | than you would think it would be. |
| 0:09.7 | Hey guys, you're listening to the Big Conversations podcast. |
| 0:14.3 | I'm your host, Haley Hoffman Smith. |
| 0:16.4 | I'm an entrepreneur, a bestselling author, and a Forbes most influential speaker. |
| 0:21.6 | You're in the right place if you're ready to step into the bigger life that you were destined for, because we're |
| 0:26.2 | about to get real on how to do so. So let's get started with today's big conversation. |
| 0:34.3 | Hello, my friends. Welcome back to big important conversations. This is a very big conversation |
| 0:40.8 | that I have been receiving many requests for for many, many months. And it's just an important |
| 0:48.1 | conversation to have in general. I've referred to it in a few of the big questions episodes. So |
| 0:52.8 | definitely go back and check that. |
| 0:54.7 | But today we're going to be discussing something called a trauma bond. |
| 0:59.1 | And a trauma bond, I'm just going to put it in my own words, is a bond that you have with |
| 1:03.7 | another person, whether it's a friendship bond, a romantic bond, where you feel this very strong sense of connection to them. And in some ways, |
| 1:14.6 | a deep attachment that can almost look like an addiction where sometimes you know that there |
| 1:19.7 | are elements of the relationship that are unhealthy. And yet the dynamic persists, no matter what you do |
| 1:25.2 | to change it, or you feel like maybe it's time for me to move on |
| 1:28.0 | from this and you still feel stuck in it or you still feel like no there's still something that |
| 1:33.3 | needs to play out here you know what's interesting is like when it comes to relationships |
| 1:36.8 | you meet someone friendship or romantic works for both and you have this click with people you know there's some people who you meet and you just literally don't feel any connection to them, right? Like you meet a friend of a friend or you meet someone in a work environment or something and you just kind of know, okay, we're not like, we're not clicking and that's totally fine. And there are other people you're just like magnetized to and you don't know how to explain it. |
| 2:01.3 | Or it just kind of feels like the universe keeps throwing you guys in the same room together. |
| 2:05.6 | And so connections just keep coming forth. |
... |
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