We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the

omnibus. So, You have accessed entry 1283 dot PR 2433 certificate number 24398.

The Teddy Bear Shipwreck.

Mom, Dad, guess what, my teddy bear's alive!

Really, well, isn't that exciting?

No, mom, he's really alive, look!

Merry Christmas everybody!

Aye!

D'a! You were happy for a second.

The Teddy Bear shipwreck?

Shipwack.

Yeah, the Teddy Bear picnic ended in tragedy this year.

Oh, no, the Teddy Bear shipwreck.

Well, you know what?

You shouldn't let Teddy Bears have a ship.

That's the first mistake.

Do you feel like they were probably, they weren't captivating the ship don't worry?

...