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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

The Summer Bears Phone It In w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 August 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stavros Halkias Tickets: http://stavvy.biz/tour Chris Distefano Tickets: https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/tickets SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com The Summer Bears’ reign has unfortunately come to an end! Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano return for their last fill-in as hosts of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and they’re going out with a bang. From roasting Tom and Bert’s absence to spiraling into wild tangents about parenting, moving, sex robots, and pie diplomacy with the NYPD, this send-off is chaotic, hilarious, and the perfect finale. Stavvy and Chrissy talk about the shock of how much fans loved their takeover, whether they’d ever come back as the Fall Bears, and even get Bert on the phone. Tom of course doesn’t pick up. But that's okay, because Mark Normand and Sam Morril crash the party near the end, bringing eclairs and stomach bugs to help close things out. It’s been a wild six weeks, and the Summer Bears want to leave you with one last memory. You're welcome, f*ckers! 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 303 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:01 - The Summer Bears' Last Dance 00:10:10 - Stoic Shit + Jump Scare Ad Break 00:17:14 - Moving Around & Finding Peace 00:24:12 - Bribing Cops With Pie & Being Addicted To Losing 00:33:06 - ChatGPT Sex Robots 00:41:26 - Swingers & Phoning It In With Bert 00:55:22 - Mark Normand & Sam Morril Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, gang, I am going to be on tour starting this September.

0:04.2

I'm going to be in London, September 7th, second show added in London.

0:08.4

Then we're going to be in Dublin on September 12th.

0:11.9

After that, coming to America, November 6th in Memphis, then Huntsville, Alabama,

0:18.2

Chattanooga, Tennessee, Knoxville, Asheville, Greensboro, Wilmington,

0:24.0

and then Myrtle Beach, Classy Myrtle Beach, Austin and Boston.

0:28.5

And we will be adding more shows soon.

0:30.2

But if you want to come see me, please check me out there.

0:32.8

That's it, baby.

0:33.7

And then I will be the big one, September 5th, Chicago Theater, September 11th,

0:40.3

theater at Madison Square Garden, and then September 27th, Saudi Arabia, baby. So come see me.

0:45.7

I'm also in Boston in October. We've got shows lined up at the Wilbur, the Chevalier.

0:50.7

Just go to Chris D.comedy.com for Tikiwikis. Thanks for all the support.

0:55.0

100%

0:56.0

Cheers.

1:00.0

What's up, everybody?

1:01.7

Welcome to the final

1:03.7

episode of Summer Bears

1:06.2

with Chris DiStefano

1:07.7

and Stavros

1:09.1

Halikis.

1:10.8

Halkeous, motherfucker. Damn it. Halkeous. The I is after the K. It's okay. And Stavro Segura. Dude, by the way. Oh, I'm Tom now? Yeah, I think you are, Tom. Yeah. You know, we are, Tom. I thought about this actually because a lot of our dynamic is me needling you to tell embarrassing stories. Yes. And that kind of is Tom and Burke. That is Tom and sort of sits back and goes, oh, tell me about that. Right. A horrifying thing that your family is going to be pissed about you revealing. Yes. That's kind of what I do to you. Yeah. Even though I'm fat. Yeah. Open up your comedy special talking about your daughter's period.

...

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