Good evening. I'm Josh Brown and this is the nightly news report.

Today in Washington, a mob of far right-wing extremists,

incited by the President of the United States, broke down barriers,

smashed windows, and broke into the U.S. Capitol building with the express intent of violently overturning a free and fair election.

It's the closest we've come to an armed coup attempt in our nation's history after hundreds of years of peaceful transfers of political power every four years.

Meanwhile, across the country, new doses of COVID-19 vaccines sat in freezers

as state governments proved unable to distribute them to frontline workers

and at-risk elderly people at the speed necessary to offset the explosion in new

infections and a death toll of almost 4,000 Americans per day, every day, every

week since Thanksgiving.

Elsewhere, it's been reported that a 600 million-year-old species of dinosaur

has come back from extinction and is now rapidly killing and eating large segments of the population.

There have been reports of vampire attacks on college campuses this winter,

unidentified alien spacecraft massing on the edges of our solar system as though preparing for a full on

assault, media showers pelting the earth surface, spreading radioactive fallout,

and the ozone layers hole has seen its diameter increased by 200%.

Nuclear missiles have been accidentally launched and randomly targeted at US cities from

coast to coast.

So you're going to want to keep an eye out for that on your commute home.

U.S. officials say, until further notice, puppies and pizza have been prohibited in all 50 states,

while Netflix has decided to only show full house reruns for the remainder of

2021. In science news it turns out that coffee, water and wine are now all deemed unfit for human consumption according to studies.

...