The Single Biggest Predictor of Divorce and How to Avoid It in Your Marriage
Fierce Marriage
Ryan and Selena Frederick
4.9 • 4.3K Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2026
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today, we expose the single biggest predictor of divorce: Contempt. We dive into the psychology of the four horsemen and the theology of Matthew 18 to show you how self-righteousness and entitlement rot marriages from the inside out.
RESOURCES:
Master marital communication: https://speak.fiercemarriage.com
Take the 31-Day Pursuit Challenge: https://31daypursuit.com
Pray for your spouse with intention: https://40prayers.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The thoughts itself needs to be taken care of. The speech needs to be controlled, but also the ongoing nature of those habits building is another seed in itself. Some relationships are harder that are more familiar than you struggle with. That's okay. Like it's not, we're not being self-righteous. We're not trying to earn ourselves, but we're just trying to be self-controlled people by the power of the Holy Spirit. If we don't forgive, how can we expect our Heavenly Father to forgive us? Because if God is forgiven to you of so much, how can my response be anything |
| 0:26.1 | but gratitude, anything but worship? Your job is to draw the emotions out. Women are primarily feeling, |
| 0:32.4 | men are primarily thinking. Doesn't mean one is better than the other. Like, men need to feel, |
| 0:37.0 | women need to think. |
| 0:38.3 | Like, he is the master and he's forgiven a debt we could never pay in a way that we should have |
| 0:43.7 | paid. You need to know that you're a sinner, like truly, truly at the depth of your core, that you |
| 0:48.6 | are a sinner without hope in life for eternity. |
| 0:58.4 | Yeah. hope in life for eternity. I hold you in contempt. |
| 1:00.4 | Is that how you use that in marriage? |
| 1:01.6 | I declare bankruptcy. |
| 1:05.8 | Yeah, contempt. |
| 1:07.8 | So it's a very important topic. |
| 1:10.1 | We mentioned it in, I think, either the last week's video or the one prior to that. |
| 1:13.6 | We talked about how it is one way a wife can dishonor her husband. |
| 1:18.6 | It's also a clear way that a husband can forsake his wife. |
| 1:22.6 | So we thought it might be good to talk about contempt for a whole episode. |
| 1:26.6 | Namely, what are the seeds of contempt? Because when you get to a place of contempt, it doesn't happen overnight. Well, and back up. We'll define what contempt is, and then we can define the seeds. Because I think we all have different ideas or thoughts in our head. I wasn't going to do it yet. Okay. I was going to say, hello. |
| 1:45.6 | Just get down to business. You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that. |
| 1:48.2 | I'm talking to you. |
| 1:50.0 | Anyway, welcome to the Fierce Marriage Podcast. |
| 1:52.5 | If you're new to the YouTube channel, welcome. |
| 1:54.9 | Make sure you hit that subscribe button. |
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