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Modern Love

The Shame Game

Modern Love

The New York Times

Love, New York Times, Nytimes, Essay, Loss, Storytelling, Society & Culture, Redemption, Nyt

4.39K Ratings

🗓️ 20 July 2022

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The year was 2006, and Damon Young had just met a woman on MySpace. Their back-and-forth was witty, flirty and easy. They went on a first date at Barnes & Noble, where they browsed books and continued to vibe. Things were going great, Damon thought. That is, until she called off their second date. Damon was confused, but he had a hunch about what fueled her sudden disinterest: his teeth. Damon’s teeth had always been a source of shame and anxiety for him. “I know that in America, good, strong, bright, straight teeth signal good, strong, bright, straight money,” he wrote in his Modern Love essay. “My mouth is a memoir. Of canceled orthodontist appointments when my parents couldn’t afford the premium.” Today, Damon shares his story about his complicated, evolving relationship with his teeth — and his self-worth. Then, we hear a Tiny Love Story about a woman who reflects on her mother’s ritual of doing her hair when she was a child, which she comes to realize was a sign of love.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Love now and to fall in love.

0:04.6

Love, love, love, is stronger than anything.

0:07.7

I feel the love, love.

0:09.0

And I love you more than anything.

0:12.0

You're too much.

0:14.4

From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.

0:17.2

This is Modern Love.

0:21.0

Whenever I go to the bar, I like to do this thing where

0:24.8

I attempt to figure out who's on their very first date.

0:29.8

And it's really never that hard.

0:32.4

Because first dates have this incredibly specific energy.

0:38.3

You can feel two people making calculations about one

0:42.2

another in real time.

0:45.2

This week's essay is about a first date that went super well.

0:49.4

But there was no second date.

0:52.2

And the author thinks he knows why.

0:54.9

It's called, was it me or my teeth?

0:58.4

Written and read by Damon Young.

1:03.5

I met her the way it felt like most people

1:06.2

met in 2006, which means we met on my space.

1:12.4

It search function allowed you to filter for gender, female,

1:16.4

age 22 to 28, location within 25 miles, and race, black.

...

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