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Sachi, you and I both consume a lot of reality TV, but do you ever think about all the shows we've never heard of?

I am sincerely embarrassed to say that I think I know all of them.

I don't think you're going to tell me one that I haven't heard of before.

Well, actually, Satchy, I am about to tell you something that will blow your mind.

Okay. It's a truly insane story about a family you may have vaguely heard about in passing as like a

wholesome and wacky American family,

but the truth behind one of the most popular unscripted shows on television is far crazier than you could possibly imagine.

It's late 2010 and Annie Kate Ponds is headed to a Beverly Hills hotel for an important

lunch. Annie's in her 20s with hazel eyes, light brown hair, and a beauty pageant smile. For the last

few years, Annie's worked as a booker and producer for news networks like Fox and Al Jazeera.

But it's not the right fit.

Now, she wants to transition into unscripted TV and she thinks she's found her star, Todd Chrissly.

Todd Crisley is a businessman who Annie met a little more than a year ago, and she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him.

She thinks he'd make the perfect reality TV star. Annie spots Todd right away. He might not be tall, but he's definitely got a

presence. He's in his early 40s. He's perpetually tanned with bleach-tipped hair and expensive clothes.

And Todd's a southerner, just like Annie.

She's from Texas, and he's from South Carolina.

And he's full of folksy one-liners delivered in a sing-songy, down-home accent.

Me getting ready is not a challenge because I've been doing this my whole life.

I'm surrounded by stupid.

And stupid is forever.

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