I just remember all of a sudden just being like, oh my God, I don't feel good.

Previously, on the retrievals.

It was an unfathomable amount of pain, and I remember begging them to stop.

Okay. remember begging them to stop. And one of the attendings, she looked at me and told me to tell her that it was okay.

That's one thing I regret the most that I didn't say, like, it's not okay.

I felt horrible.

And then I got mad.

And then I got really mad.

From serial productions in the New York Times, I'm Susan Burton, and this is the retrieval season two, the C-sections.

And I got really mad, and I was like, I am going to talk to the provider. I don't even know what to say. I'm so angry.

Usually this scene happens in a hospital corridor.

There's a template for this. One doctor dressing down another, maybe shouldering furiously out

of an OR, stripping off gloves, throwing them into a bin with an emphatic gesture, and

turning to face their colleague.

The one doctor, passionate and outraged about what just happened in that room, and another who we

can tell did not make the right choices, but genuinely feels bad.

How it happens on our show, in real life, is Dr. Heather Nixon is at home in pajamas on her day off.

She just learned that her colleague, Clara, was in agonizing pain during her C-section.

Heather is the head of obstetric anesthesia. Making sure patients are not in agonizing pain during

their C-sections is her job. Heather puts in earbuds and calls the anesthesiologist

from Clara's surgery. And I said, hey, what the hell happened? To Heather, at first the

anesthesiologist seems confused. But we gave her all these meds, he tells her. The two of them begin reviewing the events.

...