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The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Real Reason It’s Hard to Make Big Choices

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2023

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Last week, I learned a really cool trick to help you go with your gut. I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley! We hit 5 schools in 4 days, and over the course of that time, it hit me. Holy smokes, that's the perfect hack for making big decisions. You can use it anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel. What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again. This is one of my favorite kinds of episodes, because I’m going to put you right at the scene—the moment I had the epiphany. I’ll give you all the hilarious details, and there’s even a part of the story where, I am embarrassed to say, I acted pretty cringe-worthy. And that’s not all; as I was taping this episode, two friends chimed in with stories of their own. So I asked them to jump on the mic and share them with you. Two stories about a moment in their lives that’s so relatable—when they ALMOST didn’t go with their gut and looking back, they’re thankful they did. Because going with your gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does. That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut. It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it. So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future. 7:00: I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it. 11:00: The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power. 14:15: Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley. 15:45: Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too? 17:00: What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students. 20:30: When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. 22:00: Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. 24:00: You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew. 31:00: We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool. 33:00: And if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would? Listen to this. 33:45: Do you have the courage to do this? 36:30: So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES? 40:30: Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.” 42:30: Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead. 43:00: Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:07.7

I have been looking forward to talking to you all week long because I just got done with

0:14.8

spring break. It was such a memorable spring break. I just want you to close your eyes for a

0:19.7

second. Picture the absolute spring break. I just want you to close your eyes for a second. Picture the absolute spring

0:24.7

break perfection. Maybe you imagine beautiful sandy beaches, tropical waters, my tie in your hand.

0:36.3

You're just laying there with a good book like a beached whale,

0:39.9

sunning yourself with not a care in the world. It's quiet, nothing to do, nowhere to go.

0:47.0

Wouldn't it be amazing? That is not what happened for me over spring break. Nope, not at all.

0:52.5

We piled into my husband's pickup truck and we did

0:55.5

college tours. It was fun, but I did not get tan and I was not on my best behavior. I will explain

1:02.3

why in a minute. But I did learn some really incredible things about trusting your gut and about the outside forces and influences that override what you know

1:18.6

is true for you. We all know we need to trust our gut. That's like that's duh. The thing is how.

1:26.4

So today you and I are talking about gut decisions, how to make them,

1:30.6

why we need to make them, and we're going to do that in a couple of ways. First of all,

1:34.2

you're going on college tours with me. If you really think about college tours, or even if you

1:40.3

didn't go to college, but you were weighing, am I going to go into the military?

1:44.6

It's a moment in your life where you have a big decision to make and you're weighing options.

1:51.6

And it's also this moment where everybody around you has an opinion. I mean, everybody.

1:57.2

I am almost embarrassed to tell you how I behaved on one of the tours, but I'm going to do

2:01.4

it anyway. I am going to put you right at the scene. That's right. You're going to hear all the

2:06.1

details, the hilarious stories and the cringe-worthy things that I did, capital C-cringe-worthy.

2:13.3

Then I'm going to grab Oakley. And I want him to give you his side of the story because he's got a

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