Hey, hey, everyone. Hoping everyone is good, hoping everyone is great. I want to tell you something,

you know, this season of my life is called purging, and I really didn't know how much the purging

would make me feel resentful in some of the ways in which I feel like God asked me to show up and be.

So the last three episodes were some very personal things that really equipped me for the

battle like in my life.

But outside of just vocally speaking on it because I never really did, it was only people

that I loved who knew about situations that I was

battling with. Um, openly speaking about it gave me some form of resentment. I will be honest. So after I did

the last episode, um, cigarettes and alcohol, I was torn because there was a place in my heart where I felt like

in some form I should have buried it. But it also triggered me a little bit because I still feel

the remnants of the experience that I had as a teenager. And as I started to write down everything that I was feeling,

because again, for me, one of the things that has been helpful is writing down my feelings.

You know, and I do it with a pen because I can't erase it. I can scribble through it, you know,

if I wanted to, but I'm forcing myself to write down everything

that I feel. And so I was writing down, you know, my feelings after cigarettes and alcohol.

I began to just feel emotional about the experience. And there was some form of shame attached to it again and so i just remember

feeling as i'm writing that there were remnants of this that i have not completely let go by means

of the way i feel uncomfortable when it comes to certain type of people, which triggers those thoughts and those feelings.

And more evident was, went to the gas station to get me some gas.

There is this certain cigarette that this man used to smoke.

And I smelled the cigarette.

And I, again, it was an immediate trigger and I started looking around trying to figure out who it was outside in their car who was smoking the cigarettes

...