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Afford Anything

The Psychology of Secrets, with Dr. Michael Slepian

Afford Anything

Paula Pant | Cumulus Podcast Network

Entrepreneurship, Business, Investing

4.63.4K Ratings

🗓️ 15 June 2022

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

#386: We all have our secrets. We keep some secrets from bosses, colleagues and clients, like the fact that we hope to retire early, change careers, or start a business. We keep other secrets from friends and family, like our income, net worth, spending habits and investing mistakes. Research from around the world shows that we tend to keep the same types of secrets – around 38 common varieties, including secrets about finances, ambitions, beliefs, habits, unpopular opinions, mental health, trauma, addiction, and drug use. These 38 common types of secrets fall into three categories: (1) moral secrets, which we fear will either cast judgment on us or will cause harm to another; (2) relational secrets, which we fear will harm our relationships; and (3) goal and ambition secrets, related to career, business and finances. In today’s episode, Columbia University professor Dr. Michael Slepian discusses the secret life of secrets. Dr. Slepian is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School. Prior to that, he was a visiting scholar at Stanford University. His research focuses on the social costs of secrecy. What impact do secrets have on our lives and health? What are the hidden costs of keeping quiet? Are there certain things that are better left unsaid? What should we share, with whom, and when … especially when there are career, social and financial repercussions to revealing information? Dr. Slepian joins us today to share his insight. Enjoy! For more information, visit the show notes at https://affordanything.com/episode386 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

You can afford anything but not everything.

0:10.9

Every choice that you make is a trade-off against something else, and that doesn't just

0:14.7

apply to your money, that applies to any limited resource that you need to manage.

0:19.9

Like your time, your focus, your energy, your attention, saying yes to something implicitly

0:26.5

means, turning away other options.

0:30.3

We have limited cognition, limited resources, and we can only give so much of our money,

0:38.0

our time, our effort.

0:39.8

So what do we want to dedicate that towards?

0:43.2

What truly matters?

0:45.2

And once we figure out what matters, how do we make decisions that align with that?

0:51.8

Answering those two questions is a lifetime practice.

0:54.5

And that's what this podcast is here to explore from all angles and to facilitate.

1:01.1

My name is Paula Pat.

1:02.1

I am the host of the Afford Anything Podcast, and today we're going to discuss the psychology

1:07.9

of secrets.

1:09.4

Certainly, many people keep financial secrets.

1:12.9

According to a 2017 survey done by TD Bank, approximately 27% of respondents admitted

1:21.3

to keeping a financial secret from their spouse or partner.

1:26.0

Examples of this include having a secret bank account, or spending a large sum of money

1:30.7

and then keeping that expense hidden.

1:34.6

Beyond financial secrets, people often have secrets at work, at school, maybe you secretly

1:39.8

hope to retire early, or you're looking for another job.

...

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